華閱文章網1.簡短的英文表演
3人短劇，簡單有趣，每人不超過10句話，并且都是很簡單的話，經理只有一句詞，但是還比較有水平。由一個笑話改編。
最后結果出人意料，其實是服務生誤解了顧客。
C,the customer.
W,the waiter.
M,the manager.
In the restaurant.
W:What can I do for you,sir?
C:Beijing Roast Duck,Tomato and Egg *'s all.
W:A moment.
W:Yours,sir.
C:Thank you.
C:Waiter.
W:Yes?Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:I'm *.I'll change it for you.
W:Here your *.
C:Thank you.
C:waiter!
W:Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:Er.I'm terribly sorry.I change it in a second.
C:Sir.I'm sorry for the * is the soup.
W:OK.
C:Waiter!!
W:Sir?
C:Call your manager,please.
M:I'm sorry,sir,but what's wrong with the soup?
C:How can I have the soup without a SPOON?
2.英文脫口秀
我也贊成 jimmy kimmel 的，因為大部分適合兒童觀看，語言也比較簡單。
其中他最具代表性的一個脫口秀是一個叫做 hey jimmy kimmel, i told me kids i ate their holloween candies.其實還有一個很好懂的，是一個美國的節目叫做 Whose line is it anyway，因為里面帶有較多的演技，所以中國人比較能從肢體語言中懂。你可以參考他們在優酷上一個叫做“側躺秀”的。
差不多三分鐘長，里面附有中文翻譯。如果你要更具有攻擊性的，英國有幾個能上live at the apollo（這個很難進）的還不錯。
其中Jack Dee和Jimmy Carr讓我影響最深刻。他們的脫口秀帶有非常攻擊性的諷刺（比如jimmy carr就說過：女人都說自己能同時做很多事情，可是為什么我昨天晚上問我女朋友3P她卻說不行？）如果你需要一個更有國際風采的，澳洲有一位獨腳人，講關于國際語言的人叫做 adam hills。
我個人會推薦如果是容易懂的，可以去看看那個側躺秀。如果是以英文口才為主，jimmy carr不錯。
3.誰給我一篇英語脫口秀,要短,跪求
第一個：
"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."
第二個：
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter。. First Woman : "My dos is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know。" First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."
第三個：
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" The doctor interrupts, "Nine。"
4.求一篇一分鐘左右的英文脫口秀 課堂上演講用 謝啦 不用太多詞 越短越
Good afternoon everyone.I'm Christina ,a student who is outspoken as you see from Class 9 * , I'd like to share with you some of my thoughts on patriotism and responsibilities of us. Sino-Japan problem is always a sensitive topic, a fuse which can trigger a serial of explosion. Some so-called patriots argue that buying domestic products is patriotism and proclaim that in particular all the Chinese should reject goods marked “made in Japan”. Those who are more extreme may smash or plunder a shop which sells Japan products or burn any Japanese car in the street no matter who owns it. Then, how about launch a war against Japan so that we can destroy that malicious disgusting nation which had invaded our mother land then unscrupulous deny the history written in black and white? What if a person, on one hand is a patriot from tip to toe and willing to sacrifice his life to his country if Japan dare to wage a war against China(if possible) while one the other hand he is a Japanese culture vulture? What if the shop the mob smashed is owned by a hard working Chinese businessman? Had they committed a crime? Are the masses just venting their discontentment which accumulates day by day because of the appalling unfairness in the reality? Is it true we just take Japan or international trade as an outlet? Patriotism is not nationalistic fever, not intense ethnic emotion. We need to calm down and differentiate ethnical frenzy and moderate sober patriotism. In addition, there is always danger to ignore the real problematic issue such as political corruption, academic plagiarism, educational unfairness, and social classes polarizing which are screaming for our attention and should be our priority. As loyal Chinese citizens, we must have a strong sense of responsibility to our country. I t is our duty to keep China strong in the eyes of the world. Therefore, we should study and work hard for China's strongness which also depends on the advanced science and technology. We must be willing to join the Army and defend our country, would we be threatened by an invader. In short, to be a responsible citizen ,we must put our country's welfare above our own needs. 中間自己任意刪幾段即可。
5.求一段英語脫口秀,2~3分鐘,不要太難,求簡單
Hello , everyone, today I want to share with you a funny story , which is rather funny , I promise:
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.
God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines.
One line for the men that dominated their women on earth
and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the men
that were whipped was 100 miles long,
and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.
I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates.
Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud.
Learn from him! Tell them, my son,
how did you manage to be the only one on that line?"
The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
6.誰給我個簡單的英語脫口秀啊
Any messages for me？ 有我的留言嗎？ Are you by yourself？ 你一個人來嗎？ All right with you？ 你沒有問題吧？ Are you free tomorrow？ 明天有空嗎？ Are you kidding me？ 你在跟我開玩笑吧？ As soon as possible！ 盡可能快！ Back in a moment！ 馬上回來！ Believe it or not！ 信不信由你！ Better luck next time！ 下次會更好！ Boy will be boys 本性難移！ Come to the point！ 有話直說！ Do you accept plastic？ 收不收信用卡？ Does it keep long？ 可以保存嗎？ Don't be so fussy！ 別挑剔了！ Don't count to me！ 別指望我！ Don't fall for it！ 不要上當！ Don't get me wrong！ 你搞錯了！ Don't give me that！ 少來這套！ Don't let me down！ 別讓我失望！ Don't lose your head！ 別樂昏了頭！ Don't over do it！ 別做過頭了！ Don't sit there daydreaming！ 別閑著做白日夢！ Don't stand on ceremony！ 別太拘束！ Drop me a line！ 要寫信給我！ Easy come easy go！ 來得容易去得也快！ First come first served！ 先到先得！ Get a move on！ 快點吧！ Get off my back！ 不要嘲笑我！ Give him the works！ 給他點教訓！ Give me a break！ 饒了我吧！ Give me a hand！ 幫我一個忙！ Great minds think alike！ 英雄所見略同！ I'll treat you to lunch. 午餐我請你！ In one ear, out the other ear. 一耳進，一耳出！ I'm spaced-out！ 我開小差了！ I beg your pardon！ 請你再說一遍！ I can't afford that！ 我付不起！ I can't follow you！ 我不懂你說的！ I can't help it！ 我情不自禁！ I couldn't reach him！ 我聯絡不上他！ I cross my heart！ 我發誓是真的！ I don't mean it！ 我不是故意的！ I feel very miserable！ 我好沮喪！ I have no choice！ 我別無選擇了！ I watch my money！ 視財如命！ I'll be in touch！ 保持聯絡！ I'll check it out！ 我去看看！ I'll show you around！ 我帶你四處逛逛！ I'll see to it！ 我會留意的！ I'm crazy for you！ 我為你瘋狂！ You make me jump！ 你下了我一跳！ Make up your mind. 作個決定吧！ Make yourself at home！ 就當在家一樣！ My mouth is watering！ 我要流口水了。
7.幫忙推薦幾個比較簡單的英語脫口秀,最好是些感人事例時間控制在
THRIFT
There is not a (no) thrifty man but becomes a rich man sooner or later. Why? Because he will not spend such money as is unnecessary. Little by little his money will accumulate. Ten to one, he is bound to make a fortune.
I do not like such men as spend their money in a wrong way. They do not know extravagance is a bad thing. It can only make them happy for the time being. In short, thrift makes poor men rich and extravagance makes rich men poor.
節儉
沒有一個節儉的人遲早不成為一個富翁。為什么？因為他決不花像那種不必要的錢。漸漸他的錢就會聚積起來。十之八九，他一定會發財的。
我不喜歡那種亂花錢的人。他們不知道奢侈是一件壞事。它只能夠使他們暫時快樂而已。總而言之，節儉使窮人變富，奢侈使富人變窮。
8.急求簡短才藝表演（英語的）
Little Red Riding Hood 第一場：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum： （媽媽拿著一個籃子，把桌子上的水果放在籃子里） Little Red Riding Hood唱著歌，歡快地跑進來）Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum： （一邊把水果放在籃子里，心事重重地說）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma. Little Red Riding Hood：（邊提起籃子，邊點頭說）Ok! Mum： （親切地看著Little Red Riding Hood說） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood: Yes ,*e, mummy. Mum: Bye-bye. Darling. 第二場：在路上 （一陣輕快的音樂由遠而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎著籃子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁） Little Red Riding Hood: Wow!Flowers, how beautiful！ （放下籃子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers. Wolf：（隨著一陣低沉的音樂，Wolf大步地走上臺）I am wolf. I am hungry. （做找東西狀，東張西望） Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going？ （做狡猾的樣子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼） 字串6 Little Red Riding Hood：（手摸辮子，天真地回答）To Grandma'*a is ill. Wolf：（自言自語）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（對Little Red Riding Hood說）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks. Little Red Riding Hood：（和6只鴨子隨著音樂翩翩起舞） Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大樹后） Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks,how are you? Six Ducks:We' re * you. Where are you going? Little Red Riding Hood:To Grandma'*, I must go, bye. Six Ducks:Goodbye. 第三場：Grandma家 Grandma： （喘著氣出場，顫顫悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床邊，喘了幾口，打幾個哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（從樹后出來，邊走邊說）I am very hungry now. （做找尋的樣子）Where is Grandma' s house？ （高興地對觀眾說）Aha , it's here.（敲門）Bang, Bang, Bang. Grandma: Who is it? Wolf：（裝出Little Red Riding Hood的聲音，一邊得意地搖動尾巴，一邊說）It's me. Little Red Riding Hood. Grandma： （邊說邊起床） Come in, come in. 字串9 Wolf：（得意洋洋地走到床邊） Grandma , I'll eat you. Grandma： （驚慌失措地抓緊衣服，瞪著眼睛，邊叫迫從床上滾到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。 Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翹起大拇指）Yummy!I'll sleep. Little Red Riding Hood：（高興地敲門）*a. Wolf：（裝扮成Grandma的聲音） Who is it? Little Red Riding Hood:It's me。
Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise! Wolf:Come in, Come in. Little Red Riding Hood：（蹦跳著進來，把籃子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回幾步）Oh! What are big ears! Wolf:I can listen to your sweet voice. Little Red Riding Hood:Wow! What a big eyes! Wolf:I can see you pretty face. Little Red Riding Hood:Oh! What a big hand. Wolf:I can hug you. Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，邊摸邊說）Look! What a big hands? Wolf：（從床上跳起來說）I can eat you! Little Red Riding Hood：（拼命地跑）Oh!No! No！ 字串2 Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃狀，拍拍肚子說）It's delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping. Hunter： （一邊拿著槍，一邊做尋找狀出場）Where's the wolf? Look! A door.（推門）The wolf is sleeping. Wolf：（發出呼呼的響聲） Hunter： （端起槍想打，又放下）What a big stomach！ （摸摸Wolf的肚子）Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry.（從桌子上拿起剪刀，舉起） Look! Scissors. （做剪Wolf的肚子）Cut, cut, cut. Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma:Thank you. Hunter: Grandma ,give me some needles and thread. Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones. Grandma： （從桌子上拿來針線） Little Red Riding Hood：（搬來幾個石頭）One, two, three. Hunter： （把小石頭裝進Wolf的衣服里） Grandma: I'll thread it. Hunter： （拿起槍）Woke up! Wolf：（起床，兩手托著大肚子）My stomach is so heavy. Hunter: You big bad wolf, raise your arms! Wolf：（邊跑邊說） Help! Don't shot me! Hunter： （開槍）Bang, bang！ 字串9 Wolf： （應聲倒下） Hunter: The bad wolf is dead. Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma:Yeah! Thank you. Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）： Thank you。
9.六個人表演的英語短話劇
提供兩個六人表演的英語短話劇劇本 一、白雪公主英語短話劇 SW-白雪公主 Q-皇后 M-魔鏡 H-獵人P-白馬王子 D-小矮人 音樂起，旁白 A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn't love the new queen, because she was cruel. One day, In the king's palace： ----白雪出場 S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ？ 音樂起，皇后、魔鏡出場 Q: I am a queen , I'm very beautiful , Where is Mirror ? Mirror , Mirror on the wall , who's the most beautiful ? M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you ! Q: Hunter, go kill Snow white . 獵人出場 H: Yes, my queen音樂起，獵人追趕白雪，公主驚慌出逃 S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please ！ 白雪順利脫逃后 S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house , I will eat a little and lie down. 音樂起，7個小矮人出場， D: 1\Look, somebody ate my food---- 2\Somebody drank my water---- 3\Someone is sleeping now---- 4\What a beautiful girl！---- 小矮人睡覺----音樂起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----對話 5\How do you do? S.w: How do you do? My name is Snow white … Nice to meet you! D：（齊說）Nice to meet you ,too---- 6\ welcome to our house!---- 7\Would you like to live here? S.W: My pleasure, thank you very much! D: Let's go out for our work, bye-bye, Snow white. 皇后、魔鏡出場 Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall , who's the most beautiful? M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you! Q: What ? Snow white is not dead ? Hahaha, I got a good idea！ 音樂起，皇后扮演老太太出場，對話 Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple, S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma! Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite? S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma！ 白雪公主咬一口后倒地 Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha… 小矮人出場、圍著公主哭 Snow white wake up, wake up… 音樂起，小矮人引著王子出場 P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen！ 王子喚醒公主，公主醒了 P:Wake up ! Wake up , my queen ! S.w: Thank you for your help ! P: My pleasure ！ 音樂起，小矮人、公主、王子跳起歡快的舞。
二、Dont Touch Me! 6人話劇劇本 Vicky和Lisa是某餐館的服務員，一天，一個顧客對Vicky。.人物 Allen Jim Kuki Fenix Vicky Lisa Cast1. Vicky︰a waitress at Monday's restaurant. She is a hard working girl.2. Lisa︰another waitress at Monday's restaurant. She is a kind and naive girl. 3. Fenix︰one of customers. He's a very ill-natured customer.4. Allen and Tim︰customers at Monday's restaurant. They're good and decent men.5. Kuki︰the boss of the * I(One afternoon, there are many customers at the Monday's restaurant.) Vicky and Lisa talk and go to the kitchen, and then the boss, kuki, comes in, *: Hey, there are many customers today. Girls, work hard. Remember, God gives all things to *: Yeah. I *: We will do our * door opens now. Two men come * moves to the *: May I help you, sir? Two people? Come with me, I will take you to the table. Allen: Yes, *: I'm starving. I hope I can eat the best food in this restaurant right *: (laughing) Just a moment. Two men walk in the restaurant. Lisa walks toward *:This is the menu, sirs. Allen&Tim: Thank * a few minutes. Lisa and Vicky walk to the *: Hey, Vicky. I don't like that customer. See, that man sits near the *: Why? Does he make any troubles for you?Lisa: I don't know. I feel…….Oh, I just don't like the way he looks at * II Vicky delivers a dish to the table where Allen and Tim *: (talks to herself) Lisa is right. The way that man looks at me makes me * delivers a dish again to Fenix's *: Here is your meal, sir. Enjoy it, * turns to the kitchen. At this moment, Fenix touches her back!Vicky: Wow~~~~ (she screams.) Kuki: (runs to Vicky) what happened?Vicky: He, he……He touched me!Fenix: No!! I didn'*: You lie!! I see you did that. What I say is an absolute truth. Other customers gather around them to。