華閱文章網1.簡單有趣的英語小短文
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
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在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學校的老師，對嗎？女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。
這篇很簡單，沒有難的單詞
2.英語笑話簡短一點的加中文
The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September."George,how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her,Mother,because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too." 新老師 9月1日，喬治放學回到家里."喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？" 媽媽問."媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6，可后來又說2加4也得6." Excuse for Speeding Excuse for Speeding Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road.A police car pulled them over.〃Why on earth were you driving so fast？〃 the policeman yelled.〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident！〃 超速的理由 哈里與勞埃德超速行駛，一輛警車攔住了他們.“你們為什么開那么快？”警官喊道.“我們的剎車不好，因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地.” A:What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?B:A monkey can have fleas,but a flea can't have monkeys.A：猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢？B：猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子.A:Which is the strongest creature in the world?B:The * carries its house on its back.A：世界上最強壯的動物是什么？B：蝸牛.因為它可以把自己的房子放在背上.A:How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?B:Keep him awake.A：怎樣才能不讓夢游者夢游呢？B：不讓他睡覺.He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really * does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人.-- 他真是一個大人物.干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人.Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave * the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was * made the old lady out of * last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the * are real US * are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元.在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假.這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票.這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的.” my little dog can't read *:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!*:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!*:It's no use,my little dog can't read.我的狗不識字 布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字.” Bring me the winner -- Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.-- I'm sorry,* must have been in a fight.-- Well,bring me the winner then.給我那個打贏的吧 -- 服務員，這個龍蝦只有一只爪.-- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了.-- 哦，那給我那個打贏的吧.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads,see how the farms looked,and perhaps to see how farmers earned their * city man saw a farmer in his yard,holding a pig up in his hands,and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple * city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples,but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig？" 一天，有一個城市里的游客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開著車，想看看農莊是什么樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子.這位城里人看見一位農夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果.城里人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎？"那位農夫回答說，"時間對豬有什么意義？" Two birls Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is * who can tell us which is which?Student:I cannot point out but I know the *r:Please tell *t:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.兩只鳥 老師：這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀.誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學生：我指不出，但我知道答案.老師：請說說看.學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子.。
3.100個有趣的英文單詞（中文加英文）
妙趣橫生的英語單詞 不時聽有人講：“我一看見英語單詞頭就大，叫我學英語實在是趕鴨子上樹。”
在某種程度上，這是一個公眾性錯覺和誤解。可能是最初不當的教學方法和學習方法，敗壞了你學習的興致，進而扭曲了你對英語的態度。
其實，學習和研究英語詞匯是其樂無窮的事情，有時甚至忘了窗外的世界，以致于不知今夕何年。 首先，妙趣橫生的發音英語中有很多疊聲詞（組），復合詞或詞組前后發音相近，讀起來朗朗上口，富有音樂感。
Tit for tat：針鋒相對Tweedledum and tweedledee：半斤八兩hum and haw：表示猶豫或支吾的嗯嗯呃呃聲cling-clang：叮當作響，鏗鏘聲。 rat-tat,rat-a-rat,rat-tat -tat：（敲門的）砰砰聲。
Flip-flop：啪嗒啪嗒地響（動）Zigzag：彎彎曲曲Hotch-potch：大雜燴Criss-cross：縱橫交錯Helter-skelter：慌慌張張Shilly-shally：猶猶豫豫Chit-chat：拉呱Dillydally：磨磨蹭蹭Tittle-tattle：嚼舌頭，搬弄是非Higgledy-piggledy：亂七八糟Walkie-talkie：步話機Job-hop：跳槽其次，妙趣橫生的詞形有些單詞正看、反看都有意思，越看越有意思，越有意思越想看。因為英語單詞只能橫向變化，沒有上下結構， 故叫妙趣“橫”生。
如： live倒過來就是evil，可見“生活”不能顛倒，顛倒過來就是“罪惡”——儼如警世通言！ 又“鼠輩造反（猜一英語單詞）”，謎底是star，因為star從后往前讀，正好是rats。英語中有不少單詞左右有講，堪稱翻然成趣。
Are—era（時代）； bin（貯藏器）—nib（筆尖）；but —tub（盆）； deer（鹿）—reed（蘆葦）； door—rood（十字架）； doom（注定）—mood（心情）；deem（認為）—meed（適當的報答）； dot（點）—tod（狐）； evil（罪惡）—live（生活）；God—dog; gnat（小煩擾）—tang（強烈的味道）； gulp（吞）—plug（插座）；gut（內容，實質）—tug（猛拉，苦干）； keel（船的龍骨）—leek（韭蔥）； loop（環）—pool（水池）；loot（贓物）—tool,meet—teem（充滿，涌現）；nip（呷）—pin（大頭針）；nod（點頭）—don（大學教師）； not—ton（噸）； on—no; pan（平底鍋）—nap（小睡）；part—trap（陷阱）； pets（寵物）—step; pots（壺）—stop; put—tup（公羊）； rail（鐵軌）—liar（說謊者）； ram（公羊）—mar（弄糟）；raw（生的）—war; saw（鋸）—was; sloop（小型護航艦）—pools; smart（機靈的）—trams（電車）； snap（猛咬，爭購）—pans;tap（水龍頭）—pat（輕拍）；ten—net（網）； tog（衣服）—got; tom（雄貓）—mot（警句）；tops（頂）—spot（點）；tun（大酒桶）—nut（堅果）。2014全國一級建造師資格考試備考資料真題集錦 建筑工程經濟 建筑工程項目管理 建筑工程法規 專業工程管理與實務 再者，妙趣橫生的含義不少單詞似是而非，千萬不要望文生義，而誤入陷阱。
如： one-two 是“拳擊中連擊兩次”，而不是一種“一二”。 Two-time是“對人不忠”，而不是一種“兩次”。
In two twos是“立刻”，而不是一種“兩兩之間”。 Three-score是“六十”，而不是一種“三分”。
Four o'clock是“紫茉莉或食蜜鳥”，而不是“四點”。 Four Hundred 是“名流、上層”，而不是“四百”。
Five-finger是“賊”，類似漢語的“三只手”，而不是一種“五指”。 At sixes and sevens是“亂七八糟”，而 和“六”無關。
Seven-Hill City是“羅馬”，而不是一種“七山市”。 Eight-ball是“老實人”，這里的“八” 和“發”無關。
To the tens是“打扮得極為華麗”，而 “數到十”。 a white day是“良晨吉日”，而不是一種“大白天”。
a white elephant是“沉重的負擔”，而不是一種“白象”。 Blue film是“黃色電影”，而和 “藍色” 無關。
Yellow book是“法國政府或議會的報告書”，而不是一種“黃色書刊”。 Green-eyed是“紅眼病”，而不是“綠眼病”。
Green hand是“生手”，而不是“綠手”。 Green horn是“新移民”，而和 “牛羊的角” 無關。
White lie是“善意的謊言”，而和 “白色” 無關。 Green back 是“美圓”，而不是“綠毛龜”。
Yellow back 是“法國廉價小說”，而不是“黃背”。 Green line是“轟炸線”，而不是“綠線”。
Green room是“演員休息室”，而不是“綠色房間”。 White room是“絕塵室”，而不是“白色房間”。
Green house是“溫室”，而不是“綠色的屋子”。 White house是“白宮”，而不是普通的“白房子”。
White smith是“銀匠，錫匠”，而不是“白人史密斯”。 Black smith是“鐵匠”，而不是“黑人史密斯”。
Chocolate drop是蔑稱的“黑人”，而不是“巧克力滴”。 Black tea是“紅茶”，而不是“黑茶”。
Brown sugar是“紅糖”，而不是“棕糖”。 Green power是“金錢的力量”，而不是“綠色國家”。
firefly是“螢火蟲”，而不是一種“蒼蠅”。 dragonfly是“蜻蜓”，而不是一種“飛龍”。
Lady bird是“瓢蟲”，而不是一種“太太鳥”。 Dragon's teeth是“相互爭斗的根源”，而不是一種“龍齒”。
Talk fish是“吹牛”，而不是“談馬”。 Morning glory是“牽牛花”，而不是“早晨的。
4.最簡單的英語笑話
I'll See to the Rest A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!" "Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back. "You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest." 其余的事由我負責 一位車上的列車員剛發出信號讓火車啟動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。
“快點，小姐！”他喊道：“請把門關上。” “噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”
她回答道。 “請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其余的事由我負責。”
Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。”
“好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？” A Smugglar The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams. "What's in here?" he asked. "Dirt," the driver replied. "Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them." Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go. A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck. "What's in the bags this time?" he asked. "Dirt, more dirt." said the man. Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil. The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time." Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars." 走私犯 一個形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車行李箱時，驚奇地發現了六個接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。
“里面裝的是什么？”他問道。 “土。”
司機回答。 “把袋子拿出來”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”
那人順從地把口袋搬了出來。確實，口袋里除了土以外，別無他特。
哨兵很不情愿地讓他通過了。 一周后，那人又來了，哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。
“這次袋子里裝的是什么？”他問道。 “土，又運了一些土。”
那人回答。 哨兵不相信，對那些袋子又進行了檢查，結果發現，除了土以外，仍舊一無所獲。
同樣的事情每周重演一次，一共持續了六個月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，干脆辭職去當了酒吧侍者。
有天夜里，那個形跡可疑的人碰巧途經酒吧，下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對他說，“我說，老兄，你要是能幫我一個忙，今晚的酒就歸我請客。
你能不能告訴我，那段時間你到底在走私什么東西？” 那人俯身過來，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說：“汽車。” Skunk "We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?" "Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open." Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher. "No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there！" 臭 鼬 “我們的地下室里有一只臭鼬，”打電話的人對警察調度員尖叫道。
“我們怎樣才能把它弄出來？” “弄一些面包屑，”調度員說，“從地下室往外鋪一條小道直到后院。然后將地下室的門打開。”
一段時間后，那位居民又將電話打了回來。“你們將它弄出來了嗎？”調度員問。
“沒有，”打電話的人答道，“現在那兒有兩只臭鼬了。” Patience Angler: You've been watching me for three hours now. Why don't you try yourself? Onlooker: I haven't got the patience. 耐 性 垂釣者：你已經盯著看了三個小時了，你干嘛不自己親自釣呢？ 旁觀者：我沒那耐性。
Bedtime Prayers Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. 。
5.求幾十個簡短易懂的英語笑話
hey Are Directly from America Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was * mady out of * last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. * directly from America. ” 漢譯： 真美鈔 一位中國老婦人到美國去看望女兒回來不久，到一家銀行取存女兒送給她的美元。
在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真仔細的檢查了每一張鈔票看，是否有假。這種做法使老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。
這都是真正的美元，是從美國直接帶來的。” He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。
“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。
他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。
過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
英語小笑話 上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一個老美看到就笑我說， "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性， 縮寫正好是 Adidas） " 我正驚訝他怎么反應這么快， 聯想力這么豐富時，旁邊的 一個老美幫我解圍， 他說， 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn， 他們的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能詳的喔！ 下次就換你去取笑老美了.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問："主啊， 一百萬美元對你意味著多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又問："且話僂蚰昴？"上帝說："一秒鐘."最后男子請求道："上。
6.簡短有趣的英語短文（100詞左右）
got a story to tell A version of my ghetto where life felt for real Some would call it hell but to me it was heaven God gave me the grace, amazin' ways of living How would you feel if you had to catch your meal? Build a hut to live and to eat and chill in. Having to pump the water outta the ground The way we put it down utilizing what is around Like land for farming, river for fishing Everyone helpin' each other whenever they can That's how we be survivin' back in my homeland We makin' it happen, from nothin' to somethin' Lapit mga kaibigan at makinig kano / Come together and listen (Listen up yo) Ako'y padadalang, balita galing sa bayan ko / I brought news from my native land (Listen closely yo) Ng manga pangyayaring ganaganap / and what goes on Yaung pamamahagi ang mga kuento / I'll tell you how we live Sa lupang pinangako / From my beloved homeland Yo, its been a while but。
I been back home to my homeland, (check it out) to see what's going on Man it feels good to be back at home And it's been a decade, on the journey all alone I was fourteen when I first left Philippines I've been away half my life, but it felt like a day To be next to my mom with her home cooked meal Meant I felt complete, my emotions I feel! Now life has changed for me in the U.S But back at home man, life was a mess。 I guess sometimes life's stresses gets you down Lapit mga kaibigan at makinig kano / Come together and listen (Listen up yo) On your knees, oh brother I wish I could have helped you out。
Ako'y padadalang, balita galing sa bayan ko / I brought news from my native land (Listen closely yo) Yaung pamamahagi ang mga kuento / I'll tell you how we live Ng manga pangyayaring ganaganap / and what goes on Sa lupang pinangako / From my beloved homeland Black eyed peas - The apl song。
7.簡單有趣的英語小故事
原發布者：育人教育
英語小故事大全1、TheThirstyPigeon口渴的鴿子APIGEON,,.,,.,shefelltotheground,..有只鴿子口渴得很難受，看見畫板上畫著一個水瓶，以為是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飛過去，不料一頭碰撞在畫板上，折斷了翅膀，摔在地上，被人輕易地捉住了。這是說，有些人想急于得到所需的東西，一時沖動，草率從事，就會身遭不幸。2、TheBoysAndTheFrogs 男孩和青蛙..,.，¨Boys,pleasedon'tthrowstonesatus.〃Theboyssaid，¨Weareonlyplaying.〃¨Iknowthat,,myboys.，〃saidtheoldfrog..春天里的一天，一些頑皮的男孩在一個水塘邊玩耍。他們開始往水里扔石塊。許多生活在水塘里的青蛙非常害怕這些男孩，因為石頭曾弄傷了他們中的一些。最后一只老青蛙把他的腦袋探出水面，他說：“孩子們，
8.簡單短小的英語幽默
第 第一篇： Where is the father？父親在哪兒？ Text（正文）： Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父親在哪兒？ 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？” 哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
第二篇： Does the dog know the proverb, too？ 狗也知道這個諺語嗎？ Text（正文）： The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道這個諺語嗎？ 一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。 “沒有關系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。
’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？” 第三篇： dating 約會 Text（正文）： When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?" "Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly. "So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her？" 約會 在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。
一天她又對湯姆招手并示意湯姆過去。于是湯姆走了過去。
她問道，“您現在是單身嗎？” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您愿不愿意見見她？” 第四篇： Sleeping Pills安眠藥 Text（正文）： Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。
他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。
他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？” 第五篇： Big Head大腦袋 Text（正文）： “All the kids make fun of me” the boy cried to his mother.“ They say I have a big head” “Don't listen to them.” his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes” “Where's the shopping bag?” “I haven't got one, use your hat.” 大腦袋 “所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑，”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說：“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”
“別聽他們的，”他媽媽安慰說：“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。”
“購物袋在哪？” “我沒有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” 第六篇 Good Boy好孩子 Text（正文）： Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。“你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
第七篇： Second language 外語 Text（正文）： A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language？" 外語 一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。 母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得地對孩子說：“現在你知道外語的重要性了吧。
9.誰能給我介紹幾個“簡短、有趣的英語幽默笑話（100個單詞以內）”
1.A:Which do you find more important,money or friends? B:Friends,of course. A:Why? B:I can always borrow money from friends. 2.一個外賓想上廁所，便對翻譯說：“I wonder if I can go somewhere？”（我可以方便一下嗎？）而翻譯卻把somewhere誤解為“某處”，因而回答道“Yes,you can go anywhere.”。
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