華閱文章網1.英語短劇劇本五個人的幽默的帶翻譯
英語短劇劇本1 Three Times' Beating Monster 人物：T唐僧 S：孫悟空 E：豬八戒 J：沙僧 B：白骨精 B1:B變成的村姑 B2:B變成的太婆 B3:B變化成的老頭 N：哪吒 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E： （摸出，遞給S） S: Look,master （湊近T）………（T、S一齊轉向E） T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me（伸手拿回） T： （縮手）I'll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But…… T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E： （遞）*…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can't walk on any more！（坐）My stomach doesn't allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what（兇相）？E： （軟禁）I will help you catch fleas（跳蚤）.S: Hm!T：（輕咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don't forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a *,do you have any idea?S: No problem！（安裝）（B已躲在一旁偷看） E: This is…..？S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master's books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye！（走） T: Let's play cards！（三人開始打牌）音樂《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.（變成B1） B1： （接近三人，望著）Can I join you?T: I'm sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1： （在一旁觀看）Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb？（打出） B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……，Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me！（準備開電網門） S： （回來，看見B1）Oh,monster！（上前就打） B1： （倒）Ah…… T： （氣憤）Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense！（深呼吸） S: Oh,please don't…… T:It's too late！（唱）Once more……you open the door…（泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜） S: Please,Please,oh,no……（痛苦抱頭） T： （嗆住，咳）Wukong,I'm disappointed with you!B： （真身出現）Hm!Sun Wukong, I'll teach you a lesson！（變成太婆） B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter？。
（連忙擋住地尸體）No,sorry！（陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T擋） S： （咬牙切齒）You monster, I'll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T頭，T暈，S再打死B2) E&J: Are you Ok, master？（扶T） J: Look，（伸食指）how many?T:Two…..（暈乎乎地）Sun Wukong, game over！（變成B3） B3： （看到B1,B2尸體）Oh….，my daughter, my wife! Who did it？！！（哭喊） S: I'll kill you, monster！（打） T： （想阻止，未及）You,you。..（險些暈，E,J扶住 ）You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S： （悲，離去）（音樂，營造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is。
.T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!B： （出現） Ha,ha,ha！（三尸體B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飄”走） T： （驚）You are。
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被擊退) B： （抓住T）I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha。
S： （悄悄走到B后，打B,B暈）A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand。
What happened?S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S： （沉默）。
.Monkey's intuition（直覺） N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?S; Ah。
you are too late ,Nezha！（對T）I've called the police.N： （搖醒B）You are under arrest .（出示證件）You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law！（帶走B） T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry（小聲） S: What?T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I。
am。
sorry。
..(S 捂耳)（音樂響）《敢問路在何方》（這個放伴奏） T: Let's go guys！（ 歌） S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah。
Ah。
Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder 。
2.求搞笑的英語句子,英語劇本用
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個。
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。 The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚（聯系）。 Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養。
（老外也保守，要摸黑辦事，哈哈） Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩會生出意外，后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。 "Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. “現在的夢想決定著你的將來”，所以還是再睡一會吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。 "Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk？ " “努力工作不會導致死亡！”不過我不會用自己去證明。
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours！ " “工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看著別人工作。 God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。
When two's company, three's the result！ 兩個人的狀態是不穩定的，三個人才是！ A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網，它阻止你貿然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。 The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 學的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多， 忘記的越多，知道【第一條】 英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.中文：考試害了多少個孩子，讓多少誠實的孩子學會了作弊。
【第二條】 英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.中文：對于美女，看兩眼就行，轉身告訴自己，我老婆比她們都好。【第三條】 英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.中文：你有沒有發現，那些討厭你的人，長得都特別丑。
【第四條】 英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.中文：自從會玩QQ后，我發現我拼音越來越好了，讀書都沒這效果。【第五條】 英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是個妞。
【第六條】 英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke！中文：我抽的不是煙，也不是寂寞，是二手煙！【第七條】 英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.中文：考試有人靠的是實力，而我靠的是豐富的想象力。【第八條】 英文：Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.中文：國外：思想和才能才是王道，國內：關系和馬屁才能橫行。
【第九條】 英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.中文：聽到老師說又要開始罰錢，我就知道是他工資花完了。的越少，為什么學來著？。
3.求一個幽默的英語短劇劇本
旁白（Aside ）/介紹（Introduction）: Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. 在很久很久以前，有個瘋狂的國度住著一群瘋狂的人，用瘋狂的方式給人們講述著瘋狂的故事。
o（∩_∩）o。哈哈Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth. 聞名遐邇的刀客，荊軻先生，被委以刺殺秦始皇嬴政的任務。
但最終還是失敗鳥。你想知道當時的情形如何嗎？好，下面的我們將給你呈現當時真實的一幕。
Action I 太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world？ （畫外音：It's you, Prince Dan！ 太子丹高興狀） Thank u mirror！ （面對觀眾） I'm Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do？ （向幕里大叫） Where is my minister？ 太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：魔鏡魔鏡告訴我，天下男人誰最美？ （畫外音：是你是你太子丹 太子丹高興狀） 非常感謝，我的魔鏡 （面對觀眾） 我是太子丹，魔鏡告訴我說我是天下最美的男人 但是嬴政老小子嫉妒于我，倘若給他從魔鏡那兒得知了真相，必要追殺于我 。太可怕了，我該咋辦啦？ （向幕里大叫） 我的小弟們呢，哪兒去了？ 阿三（畢恭畢敬） ： Honey, I am coming 親耐滴老大，我來也。
太子丹：I've told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”！我怎么告訴你的，以后見到我要喊“我最最漂亮，瀟灑，帥氣，和藹，可愛，機靈和尊敬的太子丹殿下”，你又忘了！阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）了解，親耐滴！我有個好主意。我們找個大英雄去刺殺嬴政。
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent！（二十一世紀最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate？妙計！那么誰是最佳人選捏？阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.眼下我有倆在冊人手，一個名曰李莫愁，另一個便是荊軻。明天他們講通過PK來角逐最佳殺手稱號！太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK？那行，動作要快，ok？阿三：Yes.著。
4.英語搞笑短劇,三四個人左右,別太難,要搞笑的
Scared sleepingShakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Shakey. Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed！" （內容大意：Shakey去看心理醫生。
他說：醫生，我感到很困擾。當我睡在床上時，總覺得有人在床下。
當我在床下時，又覺得有人在床上。來回很多次。
你一定要幫我，我就快要瘋掉了。醫生：盡管將你交給我兩年，每星期來三次。
我就會治好你的恐懼。他問：你收多少錢？醫生：每次$100他說：我會考慮一下六個月后，醫生在街上遇見Shakey。
醫生就問：為甚麼你沒有再來找我？他說：你看一次要$100？一個酒吧服務生給我治療只收$10。醫生：這樣！他怎麼治你？他說：他叫我切掉床的腳。）
↑人物只有兩個你可以到這里找一個你喜歡的/。
5.求搞笑的英語句子,英語劇本用
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個。
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。 The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚（聯系）。 Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養。
（老外也保守，要摸黑辦事，哈哈） Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩會生出意外，后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。 "Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. “現在的夢想決定著你的將來”，所以還是再睡一會吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。 "Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk？ " “努力工作不會導致死亡！”不過我不會用自己去證明。
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours！ " “工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看著別人工作。 God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。
When two's company, three's the result！ 兩個人的狀態是不穩定的，三個人才是！ A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網，它阻止你貿然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。 The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 學的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多， 忘記的越多，知道【第一條】 英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.中文：考試害了多少個孩子，讓多少誠實的孩子學會了作弊。
【第二條】 英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.中文：對于美女，看兩眼就行，轉身告訴自己，我老婆比她們都好。【第三條】 英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.中文：你有沒有發現，那些討厭你的人，長得都特別丑。
【第四條】 英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.中文：自從會玩QQ后，我發現我拼音越來越好了，讀書都沒這效果。【第五條】 英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是個妞。
【第六條】 英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke！中文：我抽的不是煙，也不是寂寞，是二手煙！【第七條】 英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.中文：考試有人靠的是實力，而我靠的是豐富的想象力。【第八條】 英文：Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.中文：國外：思想和才能才是王道，國內：關系和馬屁才能橫行。
【第九條】 英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.中文：聽到老師說又要開始罰錢，我就知道是他工資花完了。的越少，為什么學來著？。
