華閱文章網1.求：一篇簡單幽默的英語值日報告啊
And the wind makes you cool. Of * are wondering all the time. When a rock jets wery hot or very cold ,it cracks（裂開），Rain falls into the cracks. We know a lot about our world , sclentists can not answer all of our questions. Although the air over the earth goes up .But there are still many answers that we do not have . Then the cool air over the water moves inan takes the place of thr air . When you are near a lake or an ocean ; Scientists will say that the salt comes from rocks, you feel thr cool air when it moves in . You feel the wind.'Scientists are not sure about the answer to this * rivers carry the salt into the ocean?The ocean does mot get more salty every year,but it cannot make the water very hot;Why is the ocean full of salt（鹽）？'. If we ask, :'We Are Wondering 學無止境 When the weather is hot, you go to a lake or an *?The sun makes the earth hot。
2.兩分鐘內的簡單值日報告
Good morning , every one. My name is XiongYan, I'm on duty today. We have Chinese, English, mach in the morning. ang history,double Chinese in the afternoon. I don't like Chinese and history, but I know that also important,so I do my best to learn it, I believe:" Nothing is ness ary, if you put your mind to do it." I like English and mach . Beacause I think they are funny. and cherry is my favourite fruit,so I have a English name"Cherry-lona", do you want to know how spell it? I'll tell you."C-H-E-R-R-Y-L-O-N-A" It's a long name. do you like it?. I like play computer, too. But the teacher said is bad for study,so I didn't always play it. 小荷作文網 es from rocks. When a rock jets wery hot or very cold ,it cracks（裂開），Rain falls into the * rivers carry the salt into the ocean?The ocean does mot get more salty every year.'Scientists are not sure about the answer to this uertion. We know a lot about our world .But there are still many answers that we do not have .we are wondering all the time。
5.值日班長搞笑總結
我們在上自修課的時候，一位女同學舉手，問站在講臺的值日班長（男的）：“請問，現在可以去洗手間嗎？”
值日班長嚴肅地說：“去干嘛？”
今天我們上思政課，上到法律，老師先問：“我們是祖國的什么？”
全班一起喊：“花--朵---”
老師無語。。。。
沒想到，天天充滿了好玩的事。
清華某青年教師喜愛麻將， 有一次， 他玩了一通宵， 他第二天早上7:40
有課， 他七點半下了麻將桌， 趕去四教上課. 正好這日值日生未擦黑板.
他大生叫一聲："哪一個做莊." 值日生不敢應聲， 他只好自己擦， 可是
黑板擦子找不著， 他又大生地叫了一聲："白板放到哪兒去了？"。..
這節是語文課，在講生詞時，老師拿起粉筆，在黑板上寫了一個“中國”，
然后說：“同學們，請看白板，這上面有一個紅中。”
正在自習，這時一個男生舉手像值日生說道："值日生，我想要阿屎."
值日生聽了說道："你可以用另一種比較文明的方法說呀."
這個男想了想說道："老師，我屁股想吐"
6.寫一篇值日報告：大家好,今天是我為大家做值日報告
Hello,everyone,it's my turn to do the duty report. I have a good living habit. I eat vegetables three times a week, but I don't like drinking milk. Besides,I sleep eight hours a day and it takes me ten minutes to go to school,thank you.。
7.英語值日報告（短劇—幽默）
Girl:When we get married,I want to share all your worries,troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy:It's very kind of you,* I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl:Well that's because we aren't married yet.
女孩：我們結婚后，我會分擔你的憂慮和煩惱，減輕你的負擔。
男孩：你真是太好了，親愛的。不過我沒什么憂慮和煩惱。
女孩：那因為我們還沒結婚呢。
8.速求初2簡單的值日報告 不要幼稚版的 重在簡單
簡單一點的： Mr. Brown was very poor this morning. He got up at half past seven and cooked breakfast for his wife and children. He found that there was no milk. So he had to spend 15 minutes on going to the supermarket to buy it. When the Browns finished having breakfast, it was 8:30. Mr. Brown was very worry because he thought he would be late for work and he couldn't find his files. He looked for them here and there. At last he found that his little son Tommy was playing with them. Tommy's saliva made them wet at all. After making them dry, Mr. Brown was ready to go. He was so anxious. He ran to the “door” quickly and walked out of it. He suddenly found that this was not a door but a big window, however, it was to late. Mr. Brown arrived for work an hour later. His clothes were torn and tattered. He was banged and bruised, and he had one arm in a sling. His boss was purple with rage. "It's ten o'clock," screamed the boss, "you were supposed to be here at nine. What happened?" "I'm sorry," explained Mr. Brown, "I fell out of the window of my flat." "That took you a whole hour? You are lying!” How poor Mr. Brown was！ 難一點的： Chinese opera together with Greece tragic-comedy and Indian Sanskrit Opera are the three oldest dramatic art forms in the world. During the Tang Dynasty (618 – 907), the Emperor Taizong established an opera school with the poetic name Liyuan (Pear Garden). From that time on,performers of Chinese opera were called 'disciples of the pear garden'. Main Roles in Beijing Opera Performance Sheng: It's a common name of male characters and composed of Lao Sheng and Xiao Sheng. Lao Sheng refers to the middle-aged man with a beard. Xiao Sheng means young man without a beard. Dan: The general name for female characters in Beijing Opera Zhengdan is also called 'Qingyi', Huadan refers to little girls who often live in the bottom of society. Laodan refers to the senior woman and Wudan indicates the female who is good at fighting. Jing: Painted face often refers to male characters with unique appearance or personality, such as Baozheng and Caocao. Besides, Chou is a comic role or villainous character or righteous * actor's nose is painted by a piece of white powder, making him or her easily recognizable.。
9.英語值日報告2分鐘2男2女搞笑
Hi! Everybody! I am so honor to do duty report today. Today is wednesday,so sunnuy,right?
嗨！各位！我很榮幸今天做值日報告。今天周三。天氣晴好，對吧？
we know recently so many pepople are talking about the accidents happend to xiao yueyue,a poor girl .
我們知道，最近，很多人正在討論一個可憐女孩，
出車禍事件。
She was crushed by a car, then the terrible thing is noboby want to help *y ,she was sent to hospital ,the person who find and help her is a kind old woman.
她是被一輛車子撞傷的，然而可怕的是，沒有一個人伸出援手。最后，她被送去醫院，而發現她的人，是個善良的老婆婆。
we all know this girl was died in the * tragic! 18 person!18 people just past away!i want ask you ,do you know life is important than anything? do you have children?have parents?do you noticed that was only a little girl?
我們都知道這個女孩最終死亡，多么可悲啊！18個路人！18個擦身而過者。我想問問你們，你們知道生命賽過任何事嗎？你們有孩子嗎？有雙親嗎？你們注意到這個可憐的女孩了嗎？
you just ignored,so mean to dive a call。
你們只是忽略她，吝嗇到不肯打個電話。
you are the killer too!
你們也是兇手！
you damaged a beatiful picture。maybe a girl is running aftere a butterfly,maybe a nice women is dating with her handsome boyfriend,maybe a great * will never has the chace to do these!
你們摧毀了一張唯美之圖！可能是個追著蝴蝶的女孩，可能是個正和帥氣男友甜蜜相會的美麗姑娘，可能是位偉大的母親。她再也沒有機會去做這些了。
the society is crying for this,because we have no sense of safety to live in this crul and indifference world。too bad!
社會為這哭泣。因為我們再無安全感生活在這冷酷殘忍而麻木不仁的世界。多糟！
so ,classmates,let us change the situation。To trust each other,to give a hand when people is meeting trouble,to believe in justice,to keep the kind heart in * be a truly impromising student!so, small thing can become a great power .所以，同學們，讓我們來改變。相信彼此，慷慨給出援助之手，當他人患難之時。相信正義，保存善良之心。成為一個真正有希望的學生。小事也能聚成大力量。
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