華閱文章網1.英語笑話 兩個人的對話 簡短的好一些 謝謝
Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told hispatient. "You only have six months to live."The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes."I can't possibly pay you in that time.""Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."九個月吧“克拉克先生，有個壞消息，你只有六個月可活了。”
醫生告訴他的病人。病人驚呆了。
“六個月我不可能付清醫療費。”“好吧，”醫生說，“那就九個月吧。”
2.英語笑話 兩個人的對話 簡短的好一些 謝謝
Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his
patient. "You only have six months to live."
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.
"I can't possibly pay you in that time."
"Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."
九個月吧
“克拉克先生，有個壞消息，你只有六個月可活了。”醫生告訴他的病人。
病人驚呆了。“六個月我不可能付清醫療費。”
“好吧，”醫生說，“那就九個月吧。”
3.搞笑英語短對話,兩人的,必須好短
請采納我的問題 1、一個女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指，但竟沒有一個同學注意到，令她忿忿不平。
到下午大家坐著談天的時候，她突然站起來大聲說：“哎呀，這里真熱呀，我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。” 2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她：“你是否懷孕了？” “是啊！”女傭回道。
“虧你還說得出口，你還沒有結婚，難道不覺得害羞嗎？”女主人再次訓。 “我為什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也懷孕了嗎？” “可是我懷的是我丈夫的！”女主人生氣地反駁。
“我也是啊！”女傭高興地附和。 3、一個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以擋風。
一天他酒后駕駛， 翻了，一頭栽在路旁。警察趕到： 警察甲：好嚴重的車禍。
警察乙：是啊，腦袋都撞到后面去了。 警察甲：嗯，還有呼吸，我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。
警察乙：好。..一、二使勁，轉回來了。
警察甲：嗯，沒有呼吸了。
. 4、在一條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上，因為時常發生車禍，所以常常有一些鬼故事發生，有一天晚上，有一個出租車司機看見路邊有一個長發披肩，身著白衣的女人向他招手，因為這個司機沒有見過鬼，所以大膽的停下來讓她上車了，這一路上，司機雖然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以時常從后視鏡看后面的女人，開著開著，突然司機發現那個女人不見了！司機嚇了一大跳，趕緊踩了一個剎車！只見那個女人滿臉是血，表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。
突然那女人開口了：“你會不會開車啊！我低頭系個鞋帶你突然一剎車我把鼻子都撞破了……” 5、一個病人去看病，醫生檢查了他，皺著眉頭說：“您病得太嚴重了，恐怕不會活多久了。” 病人：“求您告訴我我還能活多久？” 醫生：“十……” 病人著急地問：“十什么？十年？？十個月？？？十天？？？？？” 醫生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……” 6、老師：“你能說一些18世紀科學家共同特點嗎？” 學生：“能，他們都死了。”
7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛，蜣問蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子說：“護士，打針的。”蜣一拍大腿：“緣分吶，我是中藥局搓藥丸的…” 8、一非洲人住在某一賓館。
夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不了那么許多，光著身子就跑出去了。
消防員見狀驚呼：“我的媽呀！都燒的糊了吧區的了還能跑那么快！” 9、一個人想出國考察，但必須得到老總批準。于是他向老總請示，老總給了他一張字條，上面寫著：“Go ahead”。
那人想：“Go ahead=前進，老總是批準了。”于是他開始打點行李。
一個同事見到了他問：“你在做什啊？？”他說：“我準備出國考察，老總批準了，給我寫了'Go ahead'。” 同事一見條就樂了：“咱們老總根本就沒批準！！咱老總的英語水平你還不知道，他這是在說去個頭！” 10、牧師對買了他馬和馬車的農夫說：“這匹馬只能聽懂教會的語言，叫"感謝上帝"它就跑；叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。”
農夫將信將疑，他試著喊了一聲感謝上帝，那匹馬立刻飛奔起來，越跑越快。一只跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令“贊美上帝”。
果然，馬停下來了。死里逃生的農夫長出一口氣：“感謝上帝………”我打了很久，請采納1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good。
One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing。 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nos。
4.求一篇英語笑話,要求簡單的容易背下來,兩個人（男的）對話形式,
A：好無聊啊~我給你講笑話吧！A: good boring ah ~ I tell you a joke! Q：好啊。
Q: yes. A：從前有一只小綿羊，有一天他出去玩，結果碰上了大灰狼。大灰狼說：“我要吃掉你！”你猜最后怎么了？A: Once upon a time there was a small sheep, one day he went out to play, the results met the wolf. The wolf said: " I want to eat you! " You guess what? Q：恩？怎么啦？Q: well? What's going on? A：結果大灰狼把小綿羊吃了唄！A: results of the wolf took the little sheep to eat it! Q：俄……Q: russia 。
。 A：呵呵。
接著講。有一只公鹿，他走著走著，越走越快，最后他變成了高速公路（公鹿）。
哈哈。A: oh. Then tell. A deer, he walked, walked faster and faster, he finally became a freeway ( male deer ). Ha-ha. Q無語（心里那個寒阿。）
Q speechless ( mind the cold 。 ) A：嘿嘿。
有兩個香蕉一前一后走在大街上，前面那個突然說：“好熱阿！偶要把外套脫掉！”然后后面那個香蕉就摔倒了。A: hey. There are two bananas, one before and one after walking in the street, in front of that suddenly said: " a good heat! Threw off his coat! " Then the banana fell behind. Q：呵呵。
（接著寒。）Q: Oh。
( then cold。 ) A：你猜一下，一只兔子和一只跑得很快的烏龜賽跑，最后誰贏了？ Q：兔子吧。
A: you guess, a hare and a fast race the tortoise, who won at last? Q: bunny. A：錯！是烏龜啦！ A: wrong! Is the tortoise!Q：為什么？Q: why? A：前面不是說那是一只跑得很快的烏龜嘛，他跑得很快很快拉~ A: front than saying that it is a fast turtle, he ran very fast pull ~Q打了一個噴嚏（寒。） Q a sneeze ( cold。
)A：那兔子不甘心，又和一只戴了眼鏡的烏龜比賽跑步，你說這回誰贏了？A: the rabbit can not be reconciled, and a wearing glasses tortoise game running, you said this time who won? Q：這回應該是兔子了吧？ Q: This is a rabbit?A：又錯啦！還是烏龜！A: wrong again! Or the tortoise! Q：嗯？為什么？Q: well? Why? A：那只烏龜把墨鏡一摘，耶，還是那只跑得很快很快的烏龜阿！A: the turtle pulled sunglasses a pick, yeah, or that only ran very fast very quick tortoise a! Q：天啊！！！（臉已僵住。接著寒。）
Q: days!!! ( face has catalepsy 。 Then cold。
)A：接著講哦。一個男人不小心把他剛開的工資弄丟了，回家后，她妻子火冒三丈，罵了他將近一個鐘頭呢。
終于，她妻子停止罵他了，問他：“要是你連續三天看不到我，你有何感想？”那男人脫口而出：“感覺會很好的。” 結果呢，第一天他沒看到他的妻子。
第二、三天也沒看到他的妻子。終于在第四天，腫消了些，他能勉強在左眼角看到他妻子一點點了。
哈哈哈，是不是很好笑阿？哈哈哈哈……A: then say oh. A man accidentally put him just wages lost, after coming home, her wife fly into a rage, scolded him for nearly an hour. Finally, her wife to stop scolding him, ask him: "if the three day in a row you can not see me, what about you? " The man escape one's lips: " the feeling will be very good. " As a result, the first day he didn't see his wife. Second, three days did not see his wife. Finally on the fourth day, the swelling has gone down, he can barely in the left corner to see his wife a little. Ha ha ha, is it right? Funny? Ha ha ha ha 。 。
Q：@#&*￥%……Q: @ $ % & * 。 。
A：呵呵。從前有一只鳥，它每天都會經過一片玉米地，可是有一天，那片玉米地發生了火災，玉米全都變成了爆米花。
當那只小鳥飛過去的時候，以為下雪了，結果就凍死了。多可笑阿。
哈哈。 A: oh. Once upon a time there was a bird, it can pass through a cornfield, but one day, the cornfield fires all became popcorn, corn. When the bird flew past, that the snow, the freezing to death. Funny a. Ha-ha.Q：嗯。
（開始流鼻涕。）Q: Well。
( runny nose 。 ) A：嗯？你感冒了？回家吃藥阿！A: well? You have a cold? Taking a home! Q：好。
（其實是想說只要你閉嘴我就沒事了。） Q: good. ( in fact, is to say as long as you shut up. I'll be fine 。
)A：其實前面那幾個還不算太好笑阿，我前兩天在書上看了一個笑話，很好笑的，要不要聽啊？A: actually in front of that is not funny, I two days before the book saw a jokes, funny, like to listen to? Q：不用了吧，呵呵，那幾個已經很好笑了，呵呵。（怕被凍死。）
Q: you say, oh, that was funny, huh。 (fear of being killed 。
)A：哎呀，沒關系的，我講嘍！有一回，土豆和年糕打架，土豆很生氣，一腳就把年糕踢到海里了。A: Oh, never mind, I said! Once new year cake, potato and potato fight, very angry, he took the New Year cake kicked into the sea. Q：哦。
然后呢？Q: Oh。 Then? A：講完了阿，下面講第二個。
A: finished a, the second.Q（欲哭無淚啊。）Q ( no more tears to cry 。
) A：從前有一對戀人，在他們決定結婚的時候，那男生需要服兵役。他們便到了海邊，說好三年后的這一天在海邊相見，男孩并給了女孩一枚戒指作為婚戒。
可是，三年過。
5.兩人簡單的英語對話搞笑的
A:what is your name？ 你叫啥名？
B:Hu胡（諧音：誰）
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who？誰？
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You！你！
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告訴我啊
B:Hu！胡！
A:You! What is your name！？ 你！你叫啥名？！
B:Hu is my name！我就叫胡
A:O~哦
6.英語的小笑話（二人對話的）
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
7.搞笑英語短對話,兩人的,必須好短
原發布者：黑執事太久了
男：Hello,I'mBen.？女：Sure.男：Whatisyourfather'sname？女：Happy！男：Then,Whatisyourmother'sname？女：Smile！男：Areyoujoking？女：No!That'smysister!*ay,areyouacensusstaff？男：Ofcoursenot.女：Goahead.男：*g,I'*ujoinus？女：Sure,Ben.I'dlovetobeinaband男：OK,good.?.女：Piano?Idon'.男：Whatareyougoodat？女：Ising..男：SodoI.？女：Well,.男：Really?Whatdoeshelike？女：Heprefersquietmusic.男：*utHarry?Heplaystheguitar,doesn'the？女：Yes,.男：That'sOK..女：？男：Whynot？女：,Ben？男：Oh,.女：whatisit？男：I'mnotamusicianandIcan'tsing.女：Areyoujoking？男：No,that'syoursister'*
8.求一篇英語笑話,兩人的,求能撐過三分鐘,兩個男的,要搞笑
I Never Work after Supper 我飯后從不工作
A penny-pinching farmer didn't want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told the farmhand, “It's such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don't we save time and eat lunch now?”
一位農場主非常吝嗇，不想讓他雇傭的幫手停下來休息。一天早上，他對幫手說：“從地里回來，又要洗手吃飯，又花時間，真是太不方便了。我們何不省點時間，現在就吃午飯呢？”
The hired man agreed. The farm's wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and the two men ate again.
雇員同意了。農場主的妻子端進來一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是，兩個人又開始吃起來。
When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, “While we're still at the table, let's have supper too.”They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.
吃完后，吝嗇鬼說：“既然我們還在桌子邊，讓我們連晚飯也吃了吧。”這次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和雜燴青菜。于是兩個人又吃起來。
“Now that the meals are out of the way, ” the farmer announced, “we can go out and work all day without interruption. ”
“現在三頓飯都吃過了，”農場主宣稱道，“我們便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
“Oh, no,” the farmhand answered. “I never work after supper.”
“哦，不，”那幫手回答說，“晚飯后我從不工作。”
英語單詞：
penny-pinching n. 小氣adj. 小氣的，吝嗇的
nuisance n. 討厭的人；損害；麻煩事；討厭的東西
boil n. 沸騰，煮沸vt. 煮沸，燒開；使…激動；使…蒸發
interruption n. 中斷；干擾；中斷之事
不好還有。
9.簡短的英語小笑話
塞翁失馬 焉知非福 （Blessing or Bane）
Once upon a time, there was a man named Saiweng. He lived near China's northern borders. His
horse went into the land of northern people. His neighbors all felt sorry for him. "Perhaps this will soon turn out to be a blessing," said Saiweng.
After a few months, his horse came back with another fine horse from the north. Everyone congratulated him.
"Perhaps this will soon turn out to be a bad luck," said Saiweng.
Before long, his son became fond of riding. One day he fell from a horse and broke his leg. Again, his neighbors all felt sorry for him.
"Perhaps this will soon turn out to be a blessing," said Saiweng.
One year later, the northern people started a war along the border. All the strong young men took up arms and fought against the invaders. Most of them died. But Saiweng's son did not join in the fighting because he was lame so both of them survived.
很久以前，有個人叫塞翁。他住在北部邊疆。塞翁養的馬跑進了北邊民族的地盤。他的鄰居們都為他感到難過。
“也許這會是件好事呢！”塞翁說。
幾個月后，塞翁的馬自己跑回了家，還帶了一匹好馬回來。人們都去向他道賀。
塞翁卻說：“也許這不是什么好事呢！”
沒多久，塞翁的兒子就喜歡上了騎馬，一天他從馬上掉了下來，摔斷了腿。鄰居們都替塞翁難過。
“也許這會是件好事呢！”塞翁卻說。
一年后，北方的民族大舉入侵，年青人都被征集參軍去打仗。死了很多人。塞翁的兒子卻因為摔斷了腿不能去當兵，從而保住了性命。
10.跪求一篇簡短的兩人搞笑英文對話
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。
To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocsandices.
為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。
Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today, honey?"
在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“親愛的，你今天玩得好嗎？”
"Oh, yes, miss" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
“哦，好極了，小姐，”薩莉說，“除了音樂其他都很好。”