華閱文章網1.求英文幽默簡短的句子
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. <；強推>
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. <；強推這句>
Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk?
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
夠暸嗎？
2.英語幽默短句100個
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.
鈔票不是萬能的，畢竟有時還需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。
3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要節約用水，所以盡量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個或更多。
6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，畢竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..
聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。
8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一個相關名詞，它會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
愛情就像照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養。
3.搞笑的英語句子翻譯
一、幽默的英語句子 1) Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。
2) One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。 3)Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡。
4)Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。 5)Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人。
每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個。 6)Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
7)The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。 8)Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚（聯系）。
9)Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 10)Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養。
（老外也保守，要摸黑辦事，哈哈） 11)Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩會生出意外，后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。 12)"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "現在的夢想決定著你的將來"，所以還是再睡一會吧。
13)There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。 14)"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk？ " "努力工作不會導致死亡！"不過我不會用自己去證明。
15)"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours！ " "工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看著別人工作。 16)God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。
17)When two's company, three's the result！ 兩個人的狀態是不穩定的，三個人才是！ 18)A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服飾就象鐵絲網，它阻止你冒然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看。 19)The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 學的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘記的越多，忘記的越多，知道的越少，為什么學來著？ 二、勵志的英語句子 * man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 沒有人值得你流淚，值得讓你這么做的人不會讓你哭泣。
* you fail, don't forget to learn your lesson. 如果你失敗了，千萬別忘了汲取教訓。 *'t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 不要為那些不愿在你身上花費時間的人而浪費你的時間 * a noble and honest life. Reviving past times in your old age will help you to enjoy your life again. 過一種高尚而誠實的生活。
當你年老時回想起過去，你就能再一次享受人生。 * the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 對于世界而言，你是一個人；但是對于某個人，你是他的整個世界。
* judge people by their appearance. 永遠不要以貌取人。 *'t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 不要著急，最好的總會在最不經意的時候出現。
*er the best love is to love others unconditionally rather than make demands on them. 記住：最好的愛存在于對別人的愛勝于對別人的索求之上。 * your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it. 舉起你的酒杯吧。
不要吝嗇灑上你最好的香水，你想用的時候就享用吧！ * for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs. 尋找更多的知識，多讀一些書，坐在你家的前廊里，以贊美的眼光去享受眼前的風景，不要帶上任何功利的想法。 * yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. 在你想了解別人也想讓別人了解你之前，先完善并了解自己。
* not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a SPECIAL OCCASION. 不要將你的東西為了某一個特別的時刻而預留著，因為你生活的每一天都是那么特別。 * frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 縱然傷心，也不要愁眉不展，因為你不知是誰會愛上你的笑容。
14."There are only two creatures," says a proverb, "who can surmount the pyramids-the eagle and the snail." 俗話說：“能登上金字塔的。
4.急需簡單英語笑話
*or: You say your son is only four, and he can spell his name backwards as well as forwards? What is his name?Proud Father: Otto.鄰居問：你說你的兒子只有四歲，他就可以順著或是倒著拼寫自己的名字？ 他叫什么名字？驕傲的父親說：*: Look at all these bills! Taxes, rent, telephone, clothes, food. The cost of everything is going up everywhere. I'd be happy if just one thing went down. Son: Dad, here's my report card.看看這些帳單！ 稅啊，房租啊，電話單，吃的穿的.什么都往上漲.能有一樣是往下掉的我就笑了.兒子： 老爸， 給，我的成績單.3. Son: I got a hundred in school today. Father: That's wonderful, Billy. What did you get a hundred in? Son: Two things: I got 50 in spelling and 50 in arithmetic.兒子： 我今天在學校得了一百分了.父親：太好了，貝利.你是考什么得了一百分？兒子： 單詞拼寫和算數各得五十.。
5.搞笑的英語句子
老媽叫我翻譯！！！（超強爆笑）
今天我正在看碟，老媽又捧了本書進來，說道：給我講講這幾句話什么意思
老媽：這個“i don't know.“是什么意思？
我說：“我不知道”
老媽：送你上大學上了幾年，你怎么什么都不知道！！
我說：不是！就是“我不知道”嗎！
老媽：還嘴硬！！！！$@%！#$^&%#$%@$%@#$%！^%^！^%$^#&..（一頓爆揍）
老媽：你在給我說說這個。“i know.“是什么意思你該知道吧，給我說說。
我說：是“我知道“
老媽：知道就快說。
我說：就是“我知道“
老媽：找茬呀你？剛才收拾你收拾的輕了是不？
我說：就是我知道呀！
老媽：知道你還不說！！不懂不要裝懂！&*$%^@$#！%$@^%#*$^^^##$%（又一頓爆揍）
老媽：你給我小心點，花那么多錢送你上大學，搞的現在什么都不會，會那么一丁點東西還跟老娘擺譜，再問你最后一個，你給我好好解釋一下，說不出來我在收拾你，你給我翻譯一下“i know but i don't want to tell you.“是什么意思？
我暈倒，拿起枕頭往頭上爆砸三十幾下，用頭撞墻四十多下，雙手輪番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之時，我問老媽：這下你滿意吧
這不她老人家又來問我了：“兒啊，i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~？“
我：“我很煩，別煩我“
老媽：“找打，跟你媽這么說話“（于是被扁）
老媽又問；“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“
我說：“我沒聽清，再說一次“
老媽又說了一遍：i hear nothing,repeat“
“我沒聽清，再說一次“
結果被扁
老媽再問：“what do you say “又怎么解釋呢“
我說：“你說什么“（再次被扁）
老媽再問：“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊'
我說：“查字典“
“查字典我還問你做甚“（被扁）
老媽又問：you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“
我說：“你最好問別人“
“你是我兒子，我問別人干嗎，又找打.“
“啊！god save me !“
“上帝救救我吧！”
“耍你老媽玩，上帝也救不了你！（被扁）
我再問你：“use you head,then think it over，又是什么意思啊！“
我說：“動動腦子，再仔細想想.“
“臭小子，還敢耍我“接著又要動手
我連忙說：“是世上只有媽媽好的意思”
“嗯，這還差不多，一會我給你做好吃的，明天再問你”
6.求英語簡短小笑話 5句 10個
1. Mike:Mum,I want to watch *:There is no electricity *:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on. 邁克：媽媽，我想看電視。
媽媽：今晚停電了。邁克：那我們就點著蠟燭看吧。
* Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 魚網 "你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎，安？" 老師發問道。 "把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。
" 小女孩回答道。3. Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue！ " 我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎？”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。 “是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個干什么？” “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”
5. A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet？" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。
她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。
她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？”6. He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。 -- 他真是一個大人物。
干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 7. Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。
在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。 這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。
這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。” * little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不識字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
9. Bring me the winner —- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 給我那個打贏的吧 -- 服務員， 這個龍蝦只有一只爪。 -- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。
-- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。 10. Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年輕者” 這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。
如果你只有65歲的話， 千萬別進退休社區。因為那里人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。
每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。”。
7.英語句子5句,要有趣的,要簡單的
1. Stop complaining！ 別發牢騷！
2. You make me sick！ 你真讓我惡心！
3. What's wrong with you？ 你怎么回事？
4. You shouldn't have done that！ 你真不應該那樣做！
5. You're a jerk！ 你是個廢物/混球！
6. Don't talk to me like that！ 別那樣和我說話！
7. Who do you think you are？ 你以為你是誰？
8. What's your problem？ 你怎么回事啊？
9. I hate you！ 我討厭你！
10. I don't want to see you* **ce！ 我不愿再見到你！
11. You're crazy！ 你瘋了！
12. Are you insane/crazy/out of your mind？ 你瘋了嗎？（美國人絕對常用！）
13. Don't bother me. 別煩我。
14. Knock it off. 少來這一套。
15. Get out of my face. 從我面前消失！
16. Leave me alone. 走開。
17. Get lost.滾開！
18. Take a hike！ 哪兒涼快哪兒歇著去吧。
19. You piss me off. 你氣死我了。
20. It's none of your business. 關屁事！
21. What's the meaning of this？ 這是什么意思？
22. How dare you！ 你敢！
23. Cut it out. 省省吧。
24. You stupid jerk！ 你這蠢豬！
25. You have a lot of nerve. 臉皮真厚。
26. I'm fed up. 我厭倦了。
27. I can't take it anymore. 我受不了了！（李陽老師常用）
28. I've had enough of your garbage. 我聽膩了你的廢話。
29. Shut up！ 閉嘴！
30. What do you want？ 你想怎么樣？
31. Do you know what time it is？ 你知道現在都幾點嗎？
32. What were you thinking？ 你腦子進水啊？
33. How can you say that？ 你怎么可以這樣說？
34. Who says？ 誰說的？
35. That's what you think！ 那才是你腦子里想的！
36. Don't look at me like that. 別那樣看著我。
37. What did you say？ 你說什么？
38. You are out of your mind. 你腦子有毛病！
39. You make me so mad.你氣死我了啦。
40. Drop dead. 去死吧！
8.搞笑的英語句子
1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
開始我直接求上帝賜輛自行車，后來我琢磨上帝辦事兒不是這個路數，于是老子偷了一輛然后求上帝寬恕。
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my * screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.我希望能像爺爺那樣，安靜地在睡夢中死去，而不是要像他開的車上那些慘叫滴乘客一樣死法啊！
3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
你永遠不能戰勝一個純SB，因為他會把你的智商拉到跟他個水平，然后用豐富的經驗打敗你。
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
直譯：在這個世界上，我最不愿意做的事就是傷害你，但是這件事仍在我的考慮之列。
5、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
直譯：早起滴小鳥有蟲蟲！晚到的老鼠有奶酪！
6、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.直譯：在咱們這噶噠送外賣的都比警察來的快.
7、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.直譯：就象打橋牌。如果對手不好使，自己的手必須好使。
8、Some people are like Slinkies,not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.直譯：有些人就像Slinkies（彈簧玩具），沒什么實在用處，但看他們在樓梯上倒騰來搗騰去還是很有喜感。
9、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.直譯：政客和紙尿布有一個共同點就是：他們都很有規律地被替換，而且因為同一個理由——臟了！
10、sometimes u need to look back, otherwise u will never know what u have lost in the way of forever searching.直譯：偶爾要回頭看看，否則永遠都在追尋，而不知道自己失去了什么。
9.急需100句有趣的英語句子（有翻譯）
a bird in the hand is worth two the bush 一鳥在手，勝似二鳥在林 a blank slate 干凈的黑板（新的一頁，新的開始） a bone to pick 可挑剔的骨頭（爭端，不滿） a cat nap 打個盹兒 a chip off the old block 大木頭上砍下來的小木片（子肖其父） a chip on one's shoulder 肩頭的木片（自卑感，因為自卑而愛找別人麻煩；喜歡向人挑釁） a ouch potato 躺椅上的馬鈴薯（懶鬼） a cake walk 走去吃糕（易事） a headache 頭痛（麻煩事） a knock out 擊倒（美得讓人傾倒） a load off my mind 心頭大石落地 a nut 傻子，瘋子 a pain in the neck 脖子疼（苦事） a piece of cake 一塊蛋糕（小菜一碟，易事一件） a pig 豬玀 a shot in the dark 盲目射擊（瞎猜） a short fuse 引線短（脾氣火爆） a sinking ship 正在下沉的船 a slam dunk 灌籃（輕而易舉的事） a slap in the face 臉上挨了一耳光（公然受辱） a smoke screen 煙幕 a social butterfly 社交蝴蝶（善于交際，會應酬的人） a stick in the mud 爛泥中的樹枝 a thick skin 厚臉皮 a thorn in someone's side 腰上的荊棘（芒刺在背） a turn coat 反穿皮襖的人（叛徒） an uphill battle 上坡作戰（在逆境中求勝） a weight off my shoulders 放下肩頭重擔 ace 得滿分（得到完美的結果） all ears 全是耳朵（洗耳恭聽） all thumbs 滿手都是大拇指（笨手笨腳） an ace up my sleeve 袖里的王牌 an open and shut case明顯的事件 ants in one's pants 褲襠里有螞蟻（坐立不安） back in the saddle重上馬鞍（重整旗鼓） back on track重上軌道（改過自新） backfire逆火（弄巧成拙，適得其反） ball and chain 鐵球鐵鏈，甜蜜的枷（老婆） beat a dead horse 鞭打死馬令其奔馳（徒勞） beaten by the ugly stick 被丑杖打過（生得難看） beggar can't be choosers 討飯的談不上挑三揀四 bet on it 下這一注穩贏（有把握，無疑）bet your life 把命賭上（絕對錯了） better half 我的另一半 between a rack and a hard place 進退維谷（前有狼后有虎） big headed 大腦袋（傲慢，自大） bigger fish to fry 有更大的魚要炸（有更重要的事要辦） bite off more than one can chew 貪多嚼不爛 bite the bullet 咬子彈（強忍痛苦） birds of a feather flock together 羽毛相同的鳥總飛成一群（物以類聚） blow up in you face 在眼前爆炸（事情完全弄砸了） bologna 胡說，瞎說 break a let 折斷一條腿（表演真實，演出成功） break the ice 破冰（打破僵局） bright聰明，靈光 brown nose 討好，諂媚 bug somebody 使人討厭 bull in a china shop 瓷器店里的蠻牛（笨拙的人，動輒弄壞東西的人） bump into 撞上（巧遇） burn brides 燒橋（過河拆橋） burst your bubble 扎破泡泡（打破人的幻想，煞風景） bury one's head in the sand把頭埋在沙里（自欺欺人） butterfingers奶油手指（抓不穩東西的人） butterflies in my stomach肚里有只蝴蝶（心里緊張，七上八下） buy the farm買下農場（歸道山，死了） call it a night一日事畢，可以睡覺了 can't teach an old dog new tricks老狗學不會新把戲 cash in my chips兌換籌碼（睡覺，就寢） chicken雞（膽小鬼） circle the wagons把篷車圍成一圈（嚴陣以待） clean up one's act自我檢點，自我改進 come down in bucket傾盆大雨 come down in sheets整片整片地下（傾盆大雨） cool your lips冷靜下來 cost someone an arm and a leg要花上一條胳膊一條腿（代價昂貴） count on something /doing something 這事靠得住 count your chickens before they hatch 蛋還沒孵化，先數小雞 crock 破瓦片（無用之物，廢話） cross the line 跨過線（做得太過分了） cross that bridge when we come to it 到了橋頭就過橋（船到橋頭自然直） cry over spilled milk 為潑了牛奶而哭（為過去的失敗而懊喪cushion the blow 給墊著點兒（說話綿軟一點，以免打太重） cut to the chase 抄捷徑去追獵物（不繞圈子，開門見山，單刀直入） daily grind 例行苦事，每天得干的苦工 days are numbered 來日無多 dead center 正當中 deadend street 死路，死巷子 A bad beginning makes a bad ending. 不善始者不善終。
A bad thing never dies. 遺臭萬年。 A bad workman always blames his tools. 不會撐船怪河彎。
A bird in the hand is worth than two in the bush. 一鳥在手勝過雙鳥在林。 A boaster and a liar are cousins-german. 吹牛與說謊本是同宗。
A bully is always a coward. 色厲內荏。 A burden of one's choice is not felt. 愛挑的擔子不嫌重。
A candle lights others and consumes itself. 蠟燭照亮別人，卻毀滅了自己。 A cat has 9 lives. 貓有九條命。
A cat may look at a king. 貓也可以打量國王，意為人人平等。 A close mouth catches no flies. 病從口入。
A constant guest is never welcome. 常客令人厭。 Actions speak louder than words. 事實勝于雄辯。
Adversity leads to prosperity. 窮則思變。 Adversity makes a man wise, not rich. 逆境出人才。
A fair death honors the whole life. 死得其所，流芳百世。 A faithful friend is hard to find. 知音難覓。
A fall into a pit, a gain in your wit. 吃一塹，長一智。 A fox may grow gray, but never。