華閱文章網1.英語雙人情景幽默對話
經典對話一： 男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？） 女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）
經典對話二： 男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？） 女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？） 經典對話三： 男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四： 男：Is this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。） 經典對話五： 男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？） 女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。
這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。） 經典對話六： 男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？） 女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。
這個周末我頭疼。）這組對話只有看到最后才好玩，有趣。
A:I want some envelopes,please.B:Do you want the large size or the small size?A:The large size,* you have any writing paper?B:Yes,we do.I don't have any small pads.I only have large * you want a pad?A:Yes,* I want some glue.B:A bottle of glue.A:And I want a large box of chalk,too.B:I only have small * want one?A:No,thank you.B:Is that all?A:That's all,thank you.B:What else do you want?A:I want my change.一簡單搞笑的英語兩人情景對話A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?B:Sure.A:What is your father's name?B:Happy!A:Then, What is your mother's name?B:Smile!A:Are you joking?B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff?A:Of course not.B:Go ahead.A:OK. Your name is Kidding！一段對話Napolan and his soldiers（拿破侖這個單詞我記不清楚了） 眾士兵排列整齊的上。M: Attention.（立正） Turn right/left. Quick time, march！（齊步走） （吹哨）Halt！（立定） Turn right/left. At ease！（稍息）.Dismiss！（解散）M: Hello!Everyone! This is Sam. He is Swede. Today he join us. Let's givehim a warm welcome!Ss: Welcome! Welcome！ （握手、拍肩 和他打招呼，但是他搖搖頭） M: He doesn't know French at *: What a pity!A: I hear Napolan will be here in a month.M: What shall we do?B. I hear N often asks three quenstions. and often in an order. The firstone isthe Amry?M: All of us have no problem except Sam. He doesn't know *all we do?B. I have an idea. From now on all of us teach him the three questions atany *: Good！各種場合：睡覺： A: Sam. How old are you?Sam:*!A: How long have you been in the Army?Sam: 3 years sir!A: Did you join any of my two compaigns?Sam: *！吃飯：B:Sam. How old are you?Sam:*!B: How long have you been in the Army?Sam: 3 years sir!B: Did you join any of my two compaigns?Sam: *！跑步：C:Sam. How old are you?Sam:*!C: How long have you been in the Army?Sam: 3 years sir!C: Did you join any of my two compaigns?Sam: *!。
..Ss: We believe that's no problem at all.N is coming. N is coming.（眾士兵立正）N: Hello! Everyone. How are you?Ss: Fine. Thank you!sir!Sam 在哆嗦，引起了拿破侖的注意。N： （走到他的面前）Well. How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 21 . sir.N： （非常吃驚的） How old are you?Sam： （非常自信的） 3 .sir.N： （生氣的） Either you or I am mad!!!!Sam：（洋洋得意的）Both. sir!!!Ss: My god!!!。
2.簡單又搞笑的兩人英語對話
你選選吧
經典對話一：
男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？）
女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）
經典對話二：
男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？）
女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）
經典對話三：
男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：
男：Is this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五：
男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？）
女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？）
女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
經典對話七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。）
女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）
3.求英語幽默短對話（二人組）
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每個人都應該熱愛動物， 尤其是煮熟的. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要節約用水，盡量和女友一起洗澡. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessfulman , there are two. 每個成功男人的背后，都有一個女人. 每個不成功男人的背后，都有兩個. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，幸福不是永久的嘛. The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一個相關名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口， 今天就要找好. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats causechildren. 后排座位上的小孩會生出意外， 后排座位上的意外會生出小孩. "Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "現在的夢想決定著你的將來"，還是再睡一會吧. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 應該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來. "Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk？ "努力工作不會導致死亡！"不過我不會用自己去證明. "Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours！ " 工作好有意思耶！ "尤其是看著別人工作." God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地. When two's company, three's the result！ 兩個人的狀態是不穩定的 ， 三個人才是！ A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restrictingth e view. 服飾就象鐵絲網，它阻止你冒然行動但并不妨礙你盡情的觀看. The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more youforget. T he more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 學的越多，知道的越多， 知道的越多，忘記的越多，忘記的越多，知道的越少， 為什么學來著？！ 經典對話一：男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？） 女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）
經典對話二：男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？） 女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？） 經典對話三：男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：男：Is this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。） 經典對話五：男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？） 女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。
這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因） 經典對話六：男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？） 女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
經典對話七：男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。） 女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開。
4.兩人簡單的英語對話搞笑的
A:what is your name？ 你叫啥名？
B:Hu胡（諧音：誰）
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who？誰？
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You！你！
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告訴我啊
B:Hu！胡！
A:You! What is your name！？ 你！你叫啥名？！
B:Hu is my name！我就叫胡
A:O~哦
5.2人幽默對話,簡單 能翻譯成英語的 3或4分鐘
businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a * the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it * weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $* loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little * you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?" or。
Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into * was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a * the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of * morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work" he said."Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?""Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger * week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber by the barn?I want you to build me a fence - - an 8-foot fence -- so I won't need to see his place or his face anymore." The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you." The older brother had to go to town, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing, and * sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at * was a bridge -- a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all -- and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched."You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done." The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder."No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother."I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build."。
6.求一篇二人對話的英語短對話,帶點幽默的,2~3分鐘,謝謝~
Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm Once upon a time there was a clever, wily peasant, whose tricks could be much talked about. The best story, however, is how he once got the best of the devil and made a fool of him. One day the peasant had been working in his field, and just as it was getting dark he was getting ready to go home when in the middle of his field he saw a pile of burning coals. Filled with amazement he walked toward it, and sitting on the top of the glowing coals there was a little black devil. "You must be sitting on a treasure," said the peasant. "Yes indeed," replied the devil, "on a treasure that contains more gold and silver than you have ever seen in your life." "The treasure is in my field and belongs to me," said the peasant. "It is yours," answered the devil, "if for two years you will give me one half of everything your field produces. I have enough money, but I have a desire for the fruits of the earth." The peasant entered into the bargain, saying, "To prevent any dispute from arising about the division, everything above the ground shall belong to you, and everything beneath the ground to me." The devil was quite satisfied with that, but the cunning peasant had planted turnips. Now when harvest time came the devil appeared and wanted to take away his crop, but he found nothing except the yellow withered leaves, and the happy peasant dug up his turnips. "You got the best of me this time," said the devil, "but it won't happen again. Next time what grows above ground shall be yours, and what is under it shall be mine." "That is all right with me," answered the peasant. When planting time came the peasant did not plant turnips again, but wheat. The crop ripened, and the peasant went into the field and cut the full stalks off at ground level. When the devil came he found nothing but the stubble, and he angrily disappeared into a chasm in a cliff. "That's the way one has to deal with foxes," said the peasant, then carried away the treasure. 從前有位遠見卓識、機智聰明的農夫，有關他足智多謀的故事至今人們仍廣為傳頌。
其中最精彩的要首推他曾經怎樣捉弄魔鬼的故事。 一天，農夫在田間勞動了一整天，天黑時正準備回家，忽然發現自己的田里有堆煤在燃燒，他驚訝萬分，於是便走上前去看，發現竟有一個黑色的小魔鬼走在燃燒的煤堆上。
"你是坐在財寶上嗎？"農夫問。"正是財寶。
"魔鬼答道，"而且比你一生見到的都要多呢！""財寶在我田里就得歸我。"農夫說道。
"就歸你吧！"魔鬼說，"只要你肯將兩年內一半的收成給我就行了。錢，我有的是，但我更喜歡地上的果實。
"農夫答應了這樁交易，并說："為了避免在我們分配時出現糾紛，凡泥土上的東西歸你，泥土下的歸我。"魔鬼感到心滿意足，但這位聰明的農夫卻種上了蘿卜. 現在收獲的季節到了，魔鬼又來了，要求收回屬於他的收成。
但除了那些枯黃的敗葉外，他一無所獲；而農夫卻在興高采烈地挖著他的蘿卜."這次讓你占了便宜，"魔鬼說，"下次可不能這樣。地上的歸你，地下的歸我。
""悉聽尊便。"農夫答道。
播種的季節又到了，這次他可不播蘿卜，而是種上了小麥。麥子熟了，他來到田間，把麥稈齊根割倒在地。
魔鬼又來了，見到除了殘茬外，他又一無所獲，氣得轉身就走，順著石縫鉆了進去。"我就是這樣騙倒魔鬼的。
"農夫說完，趕緊拾起財寶回家去了。
7.跪求一篇簡短的兩人搞笑英文對話
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。
To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocsandices.
為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。
Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today, honey?"
在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“親愛的，你今天玩得好嗎？”
"Oh, yes, miss" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
“哦，好極了，小姐，”薩莉說，“除了音樂其他都很好。”
8.求英語兩人的幽默對話,5至6句
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
9.簡單又搞笑的兩人英語對話
你選選吧經典對話一：男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？）女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）
經典對話二：男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？）女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）經典對話三：男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：男：Is this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）經典對話五：男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？）女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。
這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。）經典對話六：男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？）女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。
這個周末我頭疼。）經典對話七： 男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。）
女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）。
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