華閱文章網1.求五年級小學生能看懂的英語小笑話,最好有中文,十萬火急
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到后說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”【注釋】
1. fume - to be angry about something 發怒，生氣
常用介詞搭配：fume at/over/about
例如：fume about what he said 對他所說的話感到生氣
2. tell somebody off 斥責，責罵
tell somebody off for doing something 因為某人做某事而責罵他/她
例如：The boss is always telling me off for being late, even though he is late every day！ 我的老板總拿遲到的事斥責我，即便他自己天天遲到！
2.小學水平的簡短英語小笑話
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師：為什么你每天早晨都遲到？
湯姆：每當我經過學校的拐角處，僦看見一個牌子仩寫著"學校----慢行".
.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進退休社區。因為那里人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。”
*: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
媽媽：弗雷迪，你的臉為什么那么紅？
弗雷迪：我剛才在大街上跑，為的是阻止一次打架？
媽媽：你做的對，誰和誰在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
3.求一些六年級小學生易懂的英語小笑話,要短一點
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
A three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said: "I love you." The little girl said: "can you get me for the future?" The little boy said: "of course can, we're not one or two years old!"
一個三歲小男孩拉著一個三歲小女孩的手說：“我愛你。”小女孩說：“你能為我的未來負責嗎？”小男孩說：“當然能，我們都不是一兩歲的人了！
4.適合小學生閱讀的英語小笑話要帶翻譯
*ing from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?" "Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun." Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun？" 丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。
“爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔？” “我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，”丈夫推諉說。“我們打球只是為了開心而已。”
莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：“那么，爸爸，誰玩的更開心呢？” 2.A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it." Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache. "That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it." 一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。“來，坐下，吃點點心，”媽媽說，“你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。
吃點東西就會好的。” 一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。
“你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，”他那聰明的兒子說，“里面裝點東西，就會好的。” 3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now？" 一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受饑餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。
有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。
她還要一些果醬涂在面包上。 母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，“露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃面包加黃油，或者面包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。”
露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然后她柔聲說：“您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎？”。
5.請幫我找一些英語笑話,短一點的,易懂的
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。
“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。
他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.。
6.簡短的小學英語笑話
Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。
他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。
他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？”Each day brings its own bread. 天無絕人之路。
Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命運掌握在自己手中。 Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的錯誤可以釀成日后的麻煩。
Early start makes easy stages. 早開始是成功的保證。 有個人不小心撞了一個外國人。
他：I'm sorry 外：I'm sorry ,too.他：I'm sorry ,three外：What are you sorry for ？他：I'm sorry ,five.A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。
“你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。
可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。
這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。
如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”。
7.英語笑話（簡單點,看得懂的,附中文,越多越好）
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問："主啊， 一百萬美元對你意味著多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又問："那一百萬年呢？"上帝說："一秒鐘."最后男子請求道："上帝，我能得到一便士嗎？"上帝回答："過一秒鐘."Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"！四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了，他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說："恭喜，你得了雙胞胎."男人說："多奇怪呀，我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒，護士過來對第二個男人說："恭喜，你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡："嗯，又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后，護士跑來對第三個男人說："恭喜，你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說："真令人啼笑皆非，我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興，但第四個伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻，咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問他有什么不對勁，他回答道："什么不對勁？我可是在七喜公司工作呀！"呵呵，一個比一個效率高.Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that's 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It's 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That's a big bridge。
Fill it with water！！！ 拉登，一加拿大人還有布什總統走在大街上看到一盞金色的燈.他們擦了擦燈出現了一個精靈.精靈說："我要滿足你們每人一個愿望總共三個."加拿大人說："我是個父親我兒子將成為農夫，因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠肥沃."精靈說了咒語愿望實現了.拉登看了很驚奇，他希望有座城墻圍繞阿富汗.精靈又說了咒語愿望又實現了.布什總統問："精靈請告訴我關于這座墻的事情."精靈回答："墻厚50英尺，高500英尺，因而里面的任何東西出不來外面的任何東西進不去."布什總統說："哇！那是座大橋耶。注滿水！！！"My Baby Swallowed a BulletYoung Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."Notes1. to swallow a bullet： 吞下一顆子彈2. to point at： 對。
瞄準個中意味自己體會吧 ：）allybabyOnce two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next？" 兩個獵人進森林里打獵，其中一個獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話。
接線員沉著地說：“第一步，要先確定你的朋友已經死亡。”于是，接線員在電話里聽到一聲槍響，然后聽到那獵人接著問：“第二步怎辦？” fool_fox 標題：I'm the boss內容：The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office * that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!" note:staff meeting:。
8.適合六年級小學生易懂易讀簡短英語小笑話
Not so fast 別那么急嘛 A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala（歡慶的） charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. "Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?" "Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment." 一只豬和一只雞路過一所教堂，那里有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。
在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。 “好主意！”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧？” “著什么急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”
The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛 A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning？" 一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛后，就準備點火烤著吃。火點著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出“咝咝”的噪音。
男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的家伙，怎么還能有心情在窩里著火時吹口哨呢？” Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭論 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah. Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him." 一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。 她的老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。
因為盡管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。” 那個小女孩說約拿（一位西伯來先知）就是被鯨魚吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。” 那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”
她的老師問：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦？” 那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”。