華閱文章網1.英語小笑話帶翻譯100個
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。
但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn？ 如果你踩了農夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定會生氣的；而如果你踩了農夫腳底的雞眼，他會更生氣。
Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“雞眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因為snail（蝸牛）的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。
你說呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces這個短語，你可千萬別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀！因為除了這個意思以外，它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎樣才能不讓夢游者（sleepwalker）夢游（walk in his sleep）呢？最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。
雖然這不是治療方法，但如果讓夢游者醒著呢，他的確就不會去夢游了。 英語笑話（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。
英語笑話（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
英語笑話（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不識字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。” 英語笑話（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 給我那個打贏的吧 -- 服務員， 這個龍蝦只有一只爪。
-- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。 -- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。
英語笑話（六）The mean man's party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you？" 吝嗇鬼請客 一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。
門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。” “為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？” “你的雙手得拿禮物啊。
天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。 英語笑話（七）Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年輕者” 這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。
如果你只有65歲的話， 千萬別進退休社區。因為那里人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。
每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。” 英語笑話（八）Which woman? One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall. On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a * I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield." My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here？" 哪一位女人？ 一天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購物，回來后發現車身沾滿灰塵，于是擦洗了一陣。
當我終于走進屋里時大聲喊：“世界上最愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風玻璃。” 我丈夫抬頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了？” 英語笑話（九）。
2.簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯
Feel Unhappy.心里難受 Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy? Father: Of cause, it is. Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time. Father(angrily): What? You------ 兒子：是不是當心里難受時，就不應該再給他精神或肉體上的刺激？ 父親：那當然！ 兒子：那好，這次我有兩門功課不及格，我現在心里很難受。
父親（氣憤地）：什么？你…… It's not that. 不是那樣的。 A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet. B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella. A: No, it wasn't raining. A：我看見7個女孩共撐一把傘卻沒有一個被淋濕。
B：啊？那一定是把很大的傘吧！ A：不是，當時并沒有下雨。 Compare other things？比一下其他？ Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed. Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things? Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you. 兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。
媽媽：你只關心這個嗎？不會比一下其它東西？ 兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,。
3.英語笑話帶翻譯 短一些
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學遲到？ 湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。
" Mother: Why are you jumping up and down? Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle. 媽媽：你為什么不停地跳上跳下的？ 湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖瓶子了 Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him? Jack: Certainly. Tom: And why? Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me. 湯姆：威廉向我借五英鎊。我該不該借給他？ 杰克：當然應該了。
湯姆：為什么？ 杰克：否則他就該跟我借了。
4.簡短英語笑話帶翻譯的
my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
5.英語簡短小笑話,帶翻譯
I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我沒有睡著 當一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。
售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒！” “我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。
“沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。” The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可憐的丈夫 “你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個小時跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯的。”
Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父親在哪兒？ 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。 “看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？” 哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。” Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道這個諺語嗎？ 一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能讓我們的老師回去嗎？ 有一次，一位督學去視察一個只有三間教室的學校。
一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學抓住其中一個正在站著說話的人，把他帶進另一間教室，并讓他站在墻角。五分鐘以后，一個小男孩從第一間教室走進來，問道，“您什么時候能讓我們的老師回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 誰更有禮貌？ 一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。
瘦子說他更有禮貌，因為他經常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認為他更有風度，因為無論什么時候他在車上給別人讓座時，總有兩位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂貴的代價 牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？ 牙科醫生：是的。
但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了 （望采納）。
6.簡單的英語小笑話（帶翻譯）
1、Boy：?Is?this?seat?empty？?Girl：?Yes?and?this?one?will?be?if?you?sit?down.?男孩：這個座位是空的么？?女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
??2、Boy：?Can?I?buy?you?a?drink？?Girl：?Actually?I'd?rather?have?the?money.?男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？?女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。?3、My?little?dog?can't?read?Mrs.?Brown：?Oh，?my?dear，?I?have?lost?my?precious?little?dog！?Mrs.?Smith：?But?you?must?put?an?advertisement?in?the?papers！??Mrs.?Brown：?It's?no?use，?my?little?dog?can't?read.? 我的狗不識字。
布朗夫人：哦，?親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！?史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！?布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”4、My?Wife?Will?Exchange?Them。
A?gentleman?walks?into?a?store?and?asked?for?a?pair?of?gloves.???″Cloth?or?leather﹖″?asked?the?salesperson.??″Makes?no?difference?″replied?customer.???″What?color﹖″?asked?the?clerk.??″Any″?he?responded.? ″Size﹖″?″Give?me?whatever?you?prefer″?the?gentleman?said?slightly?exasperated.?″My?wife?will?be?back?tomorrow?to?exchange?them.″? 反正我太太明天會來換的。一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。
?“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。?“沒什么區別。”
這位顧客回答。?“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。
“什么顏色都成。”他回答。
?“號碼呢？”?“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”?5、A??physics?Examination,Once?in?a?physics?examination，?Nick?finished?the?first?question?very?soon，?while?his?classmates?were?thinking?it?hard.??The?question?was：?When?it?thunders?why?do?we?see?the?lighting?first，?then?hear?the?thunder?rolls？??? Nick's?answer：?Because??our?eyes?are?before?ears.??? 一次物理考試。
在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
??6、Jim's?History?Examination。Uncle：?How?did?Jim?do?in?his?history?examination?Mother：?Oh，?not?at?all?well，?but?there，?it?wasn't?his?fault.?They?asked?him??things?that?happened?before?the?poor?boy?was?born.??? 吉姆的歷史考試。
舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。
嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。?7、he?is?really?somebody。
--?My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.?--?He?is?really?somebody.?What?does?he?do？--?A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.??? 他真是一個大人物。--?我叔叔下面有1000個人。
--?他真是一個大人物。干什么的？--?墓地守墓人。
擴展資料：笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。
其趣味有高下之分。人類歷史上，人自從有了語言，就已經出現了開玩笑的語言，最早，人們以口相傳，后來有了文字，許多笑話便被記載下來，編書成冊。
但還有很多笑話，是流傳于民間的，就當今社會，每天都有很多笑話出現，有心人如果收集，我想將來一定會有價值。同時豐富了笑話的寶庫。
隨著近十年網絡和手機的飛速發展，隨之出現了網絡笑話，網絡流行語，給力大全，手機笑話，雷人語句，笑料聯盟等，促使笑話發展到一個新的階段。參考資料：搜狗百科：笑話。
7.英語小笑話、故事,帶翻譯,簡短,一分鐘左右能說完的
One or Two
Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.
顧客：服務員，我盤子里怎么只有一塊肉？
服務員：先生，請稍候，我去把它切成兩塊。
Father and Son
Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
兒子：爸爸，聽說在非洲的一些地方男人在結婚前根本不認識他的妻子。
父親：孩子，實際上所有的國家都是這樣的。
It depends
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？
售票員：那得看你跑得有多快。火車15分鐘前開出。
To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer（門廳，大廳） . A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?
Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all.
Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row.
在一家電影院里，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。幾分鐘后，他回到那排位子并問坐在首位的那位男士道：
對不起，請問我剛才出去的時候是踩著你的腳嗎？
是的，不過沒什么關系，一點也不疼。
噢，不，我不是這個意思。我只是想確認一下這是不是我的那排位子。
8.英語笑話帶翻譯,簡短些,最好三至四句話
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學遲到？
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of * Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店里買一盒好用的火柴。湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？”
“是的，媽媽。”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了。”
Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
開車
父親：哎呀，我剛才違規右轉彎了。
蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉了。
Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You'er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents * why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆。”他回答說。“你真是一個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
9.簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯
原發布者：Aprilqsp
英語幽默笑話帶翻譯1:..,saidtothedoctor:"Ithinkthatheisveryill.""Iamafraidthatheisdead."saidthedoctor,Hearingthis,:"I'mnotdead.I'mstillalive.""Bequiet,"saidthewife."！"醫生懂得多一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說："我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說："我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說："我沒死，我還活著."妻子說："安靜，醫生比你懂得多."2:Youcan'.Amantriestogeton,butnoonegiveswaytohim. "Hey,letmegetonthebus."themanshouts. "It'*'dbettertakethenextbus."apassengersaystohim. "Butyoucan'tgowithoume.I'mthedriver."themansays. 沒有我你們走不了 公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車，但是沒有人給他讓路. "喂，讓我上車！"那位男士喊道. "車太擠了，你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說. "但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機！"那位男士說道.3:DrunkOneday,.Atthisage,
10.簡短的,帶翻譯的英語笑話
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom."What kind of bird?" my sister asked."I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child."Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her ."Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes:(1) inform v.告訴（2） nest n.窩；巢（3） description n.描述（4） encourage v.鼓勵（5） resemble v. 相似；類似18.鳥窩與頭發 我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。
“是什么鳥呢？”我姐姐問她。“我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩。”
那孩子回答說。“那么，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎？”我姐姐鼓勵她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭發一樣。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes:(1) poisonous adj.有毒的（2） Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。
句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎？”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個干什么？” “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet？" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。
接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。
我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？” 英語笑話（一） Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。
但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧？Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?A: By treading on his corn？如果你踩了農夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定會生氣的；而如果你踩了農夫腳底的雞眼，他會更生氣。
Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“雞眼”的意思。Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因為snail（蝸牛）的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。
你說呢？Q: What do people do in a clock factory?A: They make faces all day.一看到make faces這個短語，你可千萬別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀！因為除了這個意思以外，它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?A: Keep him awake.怎樣才能不讓夢游者（sleepwalker）夢游（walk in his sleep）呢？最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。
雖然這不是治療方法，但如果讓夢游者醒著呢，他的確就不會去夢游了。英語笑話（二） He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一個大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英語笑話（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of * last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美。
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