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          英語簡短幽默故事

          1.關于英語的小笑話 短一點

          He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆:約翰尼,你小弟弟好嗎? 約翰尼:他害病臥床了。

          他受了傷。 湯姆:真糟糕,怎么回事兒? 約翰尼:我們做游戲,看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠,他贏了。

          I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問,“發生了什么事?” “一個男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡說。

          “再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他,”伊凡說。

          “他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

          “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說。

          “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的。”

          Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問題。

          他向父親發問道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父親回答說,“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個,那么我就算醉了。”

          “可是,爸爸, ”孩子說,“那兒只有一個警察呀!” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時,家里沒有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。

          過了一會兒,他拿著一片奶酪回到房間,把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。

          你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上,先生。”那小男孩說。

          2.英文短篇小笑話 急~~~~~~~~

          Good News And Bad News"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client. "I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?" "Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement." "And the bad news?" "After the divorce, she's marrying your father." 好消息和壞消息“有好消息,也有壞消息,”離婚律師告訴他的當事人。

          “我總能聽到一些好消息吧,”當事人嘆了口氣說,“是什么好消息?” “你妻子沒有要求將你未來的繼承財產也劃入裁決的范圍。” “那么壞消息呢?” “離婚以后,她將與你父親結婚。”

          ____________________________________________The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too。.." 新老師9月1日, 喬治放學回到家里。

          “喬治,你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問。“媽媽,我不喜歡,因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。”

          _______________________________________Lost Purse A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm。. That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward." 中文: 一個女人丟了手提包,有一個誠實的小孩撿到后交還給了她。

          她看了看錢包,說:“嗯,這么有趣,我丟的時候里面是一張20美元,現在成了20張一美元。” “沒錯,夫人。”

          小男孩立刻回答道,“上次我撿到錢包時,那位夫人沒有零錢獎賞給我。”。

          3.英語小笑話,越簡單越好

          Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

          “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說。

          “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的。”

          Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告訴 (2) nest n.窩;巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓勵 (5) resemble v. 相似;類似 18.鳥窩與頭發 我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。

          “是什么鳥呢?”我姐姐問她。 “我沒看到鳥兒,老師,只看到鳥窩。”

          那孩子回答說。 “那么,你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵她道。

          “哦,老師,就像你的頭發一樣。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。

          句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。 我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。

          “是的,親愛的,”她回答說,“你問這個干什么?” “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。

          接近門口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來,沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。

          我正準備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說道:“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?” 英語笑話(一) Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。

          但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤,而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧? Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了農夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定會生氣的;而如果你踩了農夫腳底的雞眼,他會更生氣。

          Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“雞眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因為snail(蝸牛)的后背上總是背著一所房子,所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。

          你說呢? Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces這個短語,你可千萬別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀!因為除了這個意思以外,它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎樣才能不讓夢游者(sleepwalker)夢游(walk in his sleep)呢?最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。

          雖然這不是治療方法,但如果讓夢游者醒著呢,他的確就不會去夢游了。 英語笑話(二) He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。

          -- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。

          英語笑話(三) Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀。

          4.求英語簡短小笑話 5句 10個

          1. Mike:Mum,I want to watch *:There is no electricity *:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on. 邁克:媽媽,我想看電視。

          媽媽:今晚停電了。邁克:那我們就點著蠟燭看吧。

          * Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 魚網 "你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎,安?" 老師發問道。 "把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。

          " 小女孩回答道。3. Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

          “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說。

          “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的。”

          4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " 我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎?”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。 “是的,親愛的,”她回答說,“你問這個干什么?” “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”

          5. A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來,沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了。

          她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來。

          她鎮定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說道:“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”6. He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。 -- 他真是一個大人物。

          干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。 7. Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。

          在銀行柜臺,銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假。 這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最后實在忍耐不住說:“相信我,先生,也請你相信這些鈔票。

          這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國直接帶來的。” * little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不識字 布朗夫人:哦, 親愛的,我把珍愛的小狗給丟了! 史密斯夫人:可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊! 布朗夫人:沒有用的,我的小狗不認識字。”

          9. Bring me the winner —- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 給我那個打贏的吧 -- 服務員, 這個龍蝦只有一只爪。 -- 對不起,先生,這只肯定打過架了。

          -- 哦, 那給我那個打贏的吧。 10. Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年輕者” 這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。

          如果你只有65歲的話, 千萬別進退休社區。因為那里人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。

          每當要搬東西,抬東西或者裝東西時,他們就叫喊,“讓小的干吧。”。

          5.非常簡短的英語幽默故事

          來源:百度知道?device=mobile&ssid=0&from=844b&uid=0&pu=sz@1320_1001,ta@iphone_2_4.4_3_534,usm@0&bd_page_type=1&baiduid=CCAE0DB84F88E4910912958F79AD987B&tj=2Fl_1_0_10_titleBig Head“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”“Where's the shopping bag?”“I haven't got one,use your hat.”大腦袋“所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑,”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說:“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”

          “別聽他們的,”他媽媽安慰說:“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了,別哭了,去商店買10磅土豆來。”

          “購物袋在哪?”“我沒有購物袋,就用你的帽子吧。” Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

          “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說。

          “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的。”

          Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父親在哪兒? 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。 “看,”哥哥說,“這些畫多漂亮呀!” “是啊,”弟弟說道,“可是在所有這些畫中,只有媽媽和孩子。

          那爸爸去哪兒了呢?” 哥哥想了會兒,然后解釋道:“很明顯,他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”。

          6.英語短笑話

          英語幽默笑話: 一:She Didn"t Say Anything A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。

          “How do you know?” asked her father. “She didn"t say anything.” 二:I Have Turned It Over A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?” The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?” 三、40 over Li lotus heart disease arises suddenly, is escorted to the hospital first aid. The condition extremely too bad, the Li lotus felt oneself nearly all already died. In the rescue, the Li lotus has heard God's sound suddenly: "You cannot die, you also may live for 45 years 6 months 02 days, has the courage to go on living!" Certainly, the result was the Li lotus miracle is revived. After the body recovers, the Li lotus thought oneself also can live for more than 40 years, then □has anxiously is leaving the hospital, first repairs the face, then makes up the lip, then is the prosperous chest, finally is the thin abdomen, continuously has undergone 4 cosmetology surgeries altogether, then was called the specialized hair stylist to visit the service, changed has sent the color, has made the new tide hairstyle, the entire stature looked at □the young several years old. After last the reshaping surgery completes, the Li lotus then happily handled left the hospital the procedure, □thought actually the ambulance which rapidly 駛過 by 撞死 in the entrance. After the heaven, the Li lotus has been angry interrogates God: "Since you had said I also may live for 45 years, then you should not eat the word." God awkwardly 聳了聳肩, replies: "Really is sorry, at that time, the vehicle hit when you。 。

          I have not recognized am you." 英語笑話這里面有的,可以看看: 英語幽默 雙關歇后語:)~ /~t207/wht_* Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow". 老師:為什么你每天早晨都遲到? 湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,僦看見一個牌子仩寫著"學校----慢行". Do You Know My Work? One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire. “Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could * one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work,” said the other. “What is your work?” “I'm a policeman. “Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman. “I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.” 譯文:(自己簡單翻譯) 你知道我是干什么的嗎? 一天晚上,一家旅館失火,住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。 兩個人站在外面,看著大火。

          “在我出來之前,”其中一個說:“我跑進一些房間,找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。

          如果有人把紙幣留在火里,火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。

          沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”

          另一個說。 “你是干什么的?” “我是警察。”

          “噢!”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動,說:“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”

          警察說。 “我是個作家。

          我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。” Who is the laziest Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ? Jack:I don`t know ,father. Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word? Jack:Our teacher ,father. 更多的請點擊參考資料鏈接。

          謝謝。

          7.一篇短篇英語笑話

          1)TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 湯姆的借口 老師:湯姆,您為什么每天上學遲到? 湯姆:我每次路過拐角,一個路標上面寫著:"學校----慢行。

          " DID YOUR DAD。 2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個苯蛋了!" 吉姆說:"你媽媽能!" 附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點. 3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個苯蛋了!" 吉姆說:"你媽媽能!" 附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點. 4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘." 5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of * Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店里買一盒好用的火柴。

          湯米回來后,媽媽問他,“你買的是好用的火柴嗎?” “是的,媽媽。”湯米回答,“我把它們都試過了。”

          6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 開車 父親:哎呀,我剛才違規右轉彎了。 蘇西:沒事,爸,跟在你后面的警察也這么轉了。

          7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You'er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents * why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆。”

          他回答說。“你真是一個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢。

          可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的。” 8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother. “I'd know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。

          他媽媽問,“發生了什么事?” “一個男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡說。

          “再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他,”伊凡說,“他的耳朵還在我的衣兜里。”

          9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 兩只鳥 老師: 這兒有兩只鳥,一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎? 學生:我指不出,但我知道答案。

          老師:請說說看。 學生:燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

          8.求短的英語短文和笑話(帶漢語)

          Smiling I think smiling is as important as sunshine. Smiling is like sunshine because it can make people happy and have a good day. If you aren't happy, you can smile, and then you will feel happy. Someone may say, “But I don't feel happy.” Then I would say, “Please smile as you do when you are happy or play with your friends happily. You will really be happy again.” Smiling can let you have more * I say, smiling is like a flower. It will give you happiness. 微笑 我認為微笑是一樣重要的象陽光. 微笑是象陽光,因為它可能使人愉快和有一個早晨好. 如果您不是愉快的,您能微笑,您然后將感覺愉快. 某人也許說, “但是我不感到愉快”. 然后我會說, “請微笑,您,當您愉快地是愉快或戲劇與您的朋友. 您真正地再將是愉快的”. 微笑可能讓您有更多朋友.如此我說,微笑是象花. 它將給您幸福。

          9.大家給我個好笑的短英文笑話啊

          Two Birds Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 兩只鳥 老師: 這兒有兩只鳥,一只是麻雀。

          誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎? 學生:我指不出,但我知道答案。 老師:請說說看。

          學生:燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 魚網 "你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎,安?" 老師發問道。

          "把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。

          3. The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too。.." 新老師 9月1日, 喬治放學回到家里。

          "喬治,你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?" 媽媽問。 "媽媽,我不喜歡,因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。

          " 4. A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考試 在一次物理考試時,當同學們都還在苦思冥想時,尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。 這個問題是:為什么在打雷時,我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲? He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆:約翰尼,你小弟弟好嗎? 約翰尼:他害病臥床了。

          他受了傷。 湯姆:真糟糕,怎么回事兒? 約翰尼:我們做游戲,看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠,他贏了。

          I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問,“發生了什么事?” “一個男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡說。

          “再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他,”伊凡說。

          “他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

          “昨天給你的錢干什么了?” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說。

          “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的。”

          Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問題。

          他向父親發問道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父親回答說,“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個,那么我就算醉了。”

          “可是,爸爸, ”孩子說,“那兒只有一個警察呀!” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時,家里沒有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。

          過了一會兒,他拿著一片奶酪回到房間,把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。

          你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上,先生。”那小男孩說。

          英語小笑話 上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打。

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