華閱文章網1.簡單搞笑的英語對話
你選選吧
經典對話一：
男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？）
女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）
經典對話二：
男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？）
女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）
經典對話三：
男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：
男：Is this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五：
男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？）
女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？）
女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
經典對話七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。）
女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）
2.搞笑英語短對話,兩人的,必須好短
請采納我的問題 1、一個女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指，但竟沒有一個同學注意到，令她忿忿不平。
到下午大家坐著談天的時候，她突然站起來大聲說：“哎呀，這里真熱呀，我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。” 2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她：“你是否懷孕了？” “是啊！”女傭回道。
“虧你還說得出口，你還沒有結婚，難道不覺得害羞嗎？”女主人再次訓。 “我為什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也懷孕了嗎？” “可是我懷的是我丈夫的！”女主人生氣地反駁。
“我也是啊！”女傭高興地附和。 3、一個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以擋風。
一天他酒后駕駛， 翻了，一頭栽在路旁。警察趕到： 警察甲：好嚴重的車禍。
警察乙：是啊，腦袋都撞到后面去了。 警察甲：嗯，還有呼吸，我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。
警察乙：好。..一、二使勁，轉回來了。
警察甲：嗯，沒有呼吸了。
. 4、在一條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上，因為時常發生車禍，所以常常有一些鬼故事發生，有一天晚上，有一個出租車司機看見路邊有一個長發披肩，身著白衣32313133353236313431303231363533e58685e5aeb931333335303530的女人向他招手，因為這個司機沒有見過鬼，所以大膽的停下來讓她上車了，這一路上，司機雖然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以時常從后視鏡看后面的女人，開著開著，突然司機發現那個女人不見了！司機嚇了一大跳，趕緊踩了一個剎車！只見那個女人滿臉是血，表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。
突然那女人開口了：“你會不會開車啊！我低頭系個鞋帶你突然一剎車我把鼻子都撞破了……” 5、一個病人去看病，醫生檢查了他，皺著眉頭說：“您病得太嚴重了，恐怕不會活多久了。” 病人：“求您告訴我我還能活多久？” 醫生：“十……” 病人著急地問：“十什么？十年？？十個月？？？十天？？？？？” 醫生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……” 6、老師：“你能說一些18世紀科學家共同特點嗎？” 學生：“能，他們都死了。”
7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛，蜣問蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子說：“護士，打針的。”蜣一拍大腿：“緣分吶，我是中藥局搓藥丸的…” 8、一非洲人住在某一賓館。
夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不了那么許多，光著身子就跑出去了。
消防員見狀驚呼：“我的媽呀！都燒的糊了吧區的了還能跑那么快！” 9、一個人想出國考察，但必須得到老總批準。于是他向老總請示，老總給了他一張字條，上面寫著：“Go ahead”。
那人想：“Go ahead=前進，老總是批準了。”于是他開始打點行李。
一個同事見到了他問：“你在做什啊？？”他說：“我準備出國考察，老總批準了，給我寫了'Go ahead'。” 同事一見條就樂了：“咱們老總根本就沒批準！！咱老總的英語水平你還不知道，他這是在說去個頭！” 10、牧師對買了他馬和馬車的農夫說：“這匹馬只能聽懂教會的語言，叫"感謝上帝"它就跑；叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。”
農夫將信將疑，他試著喊了一聲感謝上帝，那匹馬立刻飛奔起來，越跑越快。一只跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令“贊美上帝”。
果然，馬停下來了。死里逃生的農夫長出一口氣：“感謝上帝………”我打了很久，請采納1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good。
One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing。 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nos。
3.兩人簡單的英語對話搞笑的
A:what is your name？ 你叫啥名？
B:Hu胡（諧音：誰）
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who？誰？
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You！你！
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告訴我啊
B:Hu！胡！
A:You! What is your name！？ 你！你叫啥名？！
B:Hu is my name！我就叫胡
A:O~哦
4.簡單的（最好幽默的）英語對話（5人的）
Do You Know My Work?
One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could * one will be poorer because I took them.”
“You don't know my work,” said the other.
“What is your work?”
“I'm a policeman.
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.
“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”
譯文：（自己簡單翻譯）
你知道我是干什么的嗎？
一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。
兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火里，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一個說。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察說。
“我是個作家。我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”
旁白也可以算一人吧
5.跪求一篇簡短的兩人搞笑英文對話
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點優秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。
To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocsandices.
為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。
Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today, honey?"
在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“親愛的，你今天玩得好嗎？”
"Oh, yes, miss" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
“哦，好極了，小姐，”薩莉說，“除了音樂其他都很好。”
6.求一簡單搞笑的英語兩人情景對話
A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?
B:Sure.
A:What is your father's name?
B:Happy!
A:Then, What is your mother's name?
B:Smile!
A:Are you joking?
B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census
staff?
A:Of course not.
B:Go ahead.
A:OK. Your name is Kidding!
7.英語短篇對話笑話
有一天，俺商店里來了個外國人買西餐料。
他選好一樣東西，俺就在計算器上摁出價錢給他看。當然俺有點不好意思了，而且俺還會句英語。
于是 ，俺就對他說： “I am sorry”。 “I am sorry, too” 外國人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。 “What are you sorry for？” 外國人問。
“I am sorry five” 我說……男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？） 女：Actually I''d rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）經典對話二：this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五： 男：Haven''t I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？） 女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六： 男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？） 女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？） 女：Why? Don''t you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）經典對話三： 男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：經典對話七： 男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。） 女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! 2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is。
TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."ELLEN: All right。 "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." 3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS: Big hands! 4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, Sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours. 5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher。
snakes don't have * You Know My Work?One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night * men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could * one will be poorer because I took them.”“You don't know my work,” said the other.“What is your work?”“I'm a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”譯文：（自己簡單翻譯）你知道我是干什么的嗎？一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。
如果有人把紙幣留在火里，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。
沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”“你不知道我是干什么的。”
另一個說。“你是干什么的？”“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”
警察說。“我是個作家。
我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”。