華閱文章網1.簡單的英語故事 笑話
hey Are Directly from America Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was * mady out of * last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. * directly from America. ” 漢譯： 真美鈔 一位中國老婦人到美國去看望女兒回來不久，到一家銀行取存女兒送給她的美元。
在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真仔細的檢查了每一張鈔票看，是否有假。這種做法使老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。
這都是真正的美元，是從美國直接帶來的。” He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。
“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。
他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。
過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
英語小笑話 上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一個老美看到就笑我說， "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性， 縮寫正好是 Adidas） " 我正驚訝他怎么反應這么快， 聯想力這么豐富時，旁邊的 一個老美幫我解圍， 他說， 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn， 他們的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能詳的喔！ 下次就換你去取笑老美了. A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問："主啊， 一百萬美元對你意味著多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又問："且話僂蚰昴？"上帝說："一秒鐘."最后男子請求道："。
2.簡單有趣的英語小故事
最低0.27元開通文庫會員，查看完整內容> 原發布者：育人教育 英語小故事大全1、TheThirstyPigeon口渴的鴿子APIGEON,oppressedbyexcessivethirst,*posingittobeonlyapicture,sheflewtowardsitwithaloudwhirandunwittinglydashedagainstthesignboard,*brokenherwingsbytheblow,shefelltotheground,*ouldnotoutrundiscretion.有只鴿子口渴得很難受，看見畫板上畫著一個水瓶，以為是真的。
他立刻呼呼地猛飛過去，不料一頭碰撞在畫板上，折斷了翅膀，摔在地上，被人輕易地捉住了。這是說，有些人想急于得到所需的東西，一時沖動，草率從事，就會身遭不幸。
2、TheBoysAndTheFrogs 男孩和青蛙*ondlivedmanyfrogsweremuchafraidoftheboys,*anoldfrogliftedhisheadoutofthewaterandsaid，¨Boys,pleasedon'tthrowstonesatus.〃Theboyssaid，¨Weareonlyplaying.〃¨Iknowthat,butpleasestopthrowingstones,*playtoyouisdeathtous，〃*oysstoppedthrowingstonesandwentaway.春天里的一天，一些頑皮的男孩在一個水塘邊玩耍。他們開始往水里扔石塊。
許多生活在水塘里的青蛙非常害怕這些男孩，因為石頭曾弄傷了他們中的一些。最后一只老青蛙把他的腦袋探出水面，他說：“孩子們，。
3.求5篇簡單的英語小短文、或者小笑話
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。
“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。
他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。
過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
英語小笑話 上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一個老美看到就笑我說， "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性， 縮寫正好是 Adidas） " 我正驚訝他怎么反應這么快， 聯想力這么豐富時，旁邊的 一個老美幫我解圍， 他說， 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn， 他們的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能詳的喔！ 下次就換你去取笑老美了.。
4.急需簡單英語笑話
*or: You say your son is only four, and he can spell his name backwards as well as forwards? What is his name?Proud Father: Otto.鄰居問：你說你的兒子只有四歲，他就可以順著或是倒著拼寫自己的名字？ 他叫什么名字？驕傲的父親說：*: Look at all these bills! Taxes, rent, telephone, clothes, food. The cost of everything is going up everywhere. I'd be happy if just one thing went down. Son: Dad, here's my report card.看看這些帳單！ 稅啊，房租啊，電話單，吃的穿的.什么都往上漲.能有一樣是往下掉的我就笑了.兒子： 老爸， 給，我的成績單.3. Son: I got a hundred in school today. Father: That's wonderful, Billy. What did you get a hundred in? Son: Two things: I got 50 in spelling and 50 in arithmetic.兒子： 我今天在學校得了一百分了.父親：太好了，貝利.你是考什么得了一百分？兒子： 單詞拼寫和算數各得五十.。
5.簡單英文小笑話故事
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老師：為什么你每天早晨都遲到？湯姆：每當我經過學校的拐角處，僦看見一個牌子仩寫著"學校----慢行".Let me take it downAn elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .""Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."為我所用一頭大象對一只小老鼠說：“你無疑是我見過的最小、最沒用的東西。”
“請再說一遍，讓我把它記下來。”老鼠說。
“我要講給我認識的一只跳蚤聽。回答者：277128012 - 大魔法師 八級 9-15 20:58there are 3 old friend gathering around togetherfirst said:"windy , isn't it ?"second one replied:"no , it's thursday."third said:"yeah! me too , let go and have some tea"第一個說windy，但第二個聽成了wednesday，所以他說了今天是thursday，第三個卻把thursday聽成了thirsty，所以他說yeah! me too , let go and have some tea回答者：LAFSjonas - 試用期 一級 9-15 21:09這個笑話挺好笑的.生字應該不多.你自己也學查查字典.（我說個大意噢：一位伊利若州男子離開 冰天雪地的芝加哥到佛羅里達州度假.他的妻子正在外地公干，準備到時候在佛州會合.該男子到了佛州，駐進酒店，就急忙給他妻子發電子郵件.但是他將太太的網址打錯一個字母，結果這封郵件發到了一位牧師太太手里，她的丈夫前一天剛過世，她為此在傷心欲絕.當她打開這封錯發來的郵件時，慘叫一聲，兩腿一蹬，死了.郵件是這樣寫的：親愛的，我剛來報到.正準備迎接你明天的到來.愛你的夫君對了，這下面真的好熱唉.（Illinois是美國東部一個州.冬天很冷.Florida在美國南部，一年氣候都比較熱. ）A BIG E-mail Mistake 一封致命的郵件An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick * to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor * the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:Dearest Wife,Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival * Loving Husband.P.S. Sure is hot down here.雙關語：1熱：佛州天氣，2.煉獄down :1.佛州（美國南方，在地圖下方）2.地獄。
6.2分鐘簡單英文笑話
英語笑話（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。
英語笑話（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
英語笑話（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不識字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。
7.有趣的英文故事（簡短的 ）
The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【譯文】 老貓 一位老婦有只貓，這只貓很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了東西，因為它年紀太大了。
一天，老貓發現一只老鼠，它跳過去抓這只老鼠，然而，它咬不住這只老鼠。因此，老鼠從它的嘴邊溜掉了，因為老貓咬不了它。
于是，老婦很生氣，因為老貓沒有把老鼠咬死。她開始打這只貓，貓說：“不要打你的老仆人，我已經為你服務了很多年，而且還愿意為你效勞，但是，我實在太老了，對年紀大的不要這么無情，要記住老年人在年青時所做過的有益的事情。”
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river." He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【譯文】 一個人正朝著一個富人的房子走去，當他沿著路走時，在路的一邊他發現一箱好蘋果，他說：“我不打算吃那些蘋果，因為富人會給我更多的食物，他會給我很好吃的東西。”然后他拿起蘋果，一把扔到土里去。
他繼續走，來到河邊，河漲水了，因此，他到不了河對岸，他等了一會兒，然后他說：“今天我去不了富人家了，因為我不能渡過河。” 他開始回家，那天他沒有吃東西。
他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。 不要把好東西扔掉，換個時候你會覺得它們大有用處。
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city." The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid." 【譯文】 城里老鼠和鄉下老鼠 從前，有兩只老鼠，它們是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在鄉村，另一只住在城里。
很多年以后，鄉下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它說：“你一定要來我鄉下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。
鄉下老鼠領著它到了一塊田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出來給城里老鼠。
城里老鼠說：“這東西不好吃，你的家也不好，你為什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你應該搬到城里去住，你能住上用石頭造的漂亮房子，還會吃上美味佳肴，你應該到我城里的家看看。” 鄉下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。
房子十分漂亮，好吃的東西也為他們擺好了。可是正當他們要開始吃的時候，聽見很大的一陣響聲，城里的老鼠叫喊起來：“快跑！快跑！貓來了！”他們飛快地跑開躲藏起來。
過了一會兒，他們出來了。當他們出來時，鄉下老鼠說：“我不喜歡住在城里，我喜歡住在田野我的洞里。
因為這樣雖然貧窮但是快樂自在，比起雖然富有卻要過著提心吊膽的生活來說，要好些。” Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow". 老師：為什么你每天早晨都遲到？ 湯姆：每當我經過學校的拐角處，就看見一個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行". A Good Boy Little 。
8.英語小笑話、故事,帶翻譯,簡短,一分鐘左右能說完的
One or Two
Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.
顧客：服務員，我盤子里怎么只有一塊肉？
服務員：先生，請稍候，我去把它切成兩塊。
Father and Son
Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
兒子：爸爸，聽說在非洲的一些地方男人在結婚前根本不認識他的妻子。
父親：孩子，實際上所有的國家都是這樣的。
It depends
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？
售票員：那得看你跑得有多快。火車15分鐘前開出。
To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer（門廳，大廳） . A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?
Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all.
Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row.
在一家電影院里，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。幾分鐘后，他回到那排位子并問坐在首位的那位男士道：
對不起，請問我剛才出去的時候是踩著你的腳嗎？
是的，不過沒什么關系，一點也不疼。
噢，不，我不是這個意思。我只是想確認一下這是不是我的那排位子。
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