華閱文章網1.小學水平的簡短英語小笑話
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師：為什么你每天早晨都遲到？
湯姆：每當我經過學校的拐角處，僦看見一個牌子仩寫著"學校----慢行".
.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進退休社區。因為那里人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。”
*: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
媽媽：弗雷迪，你的臉為什么那么紅？
弗雷迪：我剛才在大街上跑，為的是阻止一次打架？
媽媽：你做的對，誰和誰在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
2.適合六年級小學生易懂易讀簡短英語小笑話
Not so fast 別那么急嘛 A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala（歡慶的） charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. "Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?" "Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment." 一只豬和一只雞路過一所教堂，那里有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。
在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。 “好主意！”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧？” “著什么急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”
The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛 A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning？" 一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛后，就準備點火烤著吃。火點著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出“咝咝”的噪音。
男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的家伙，怎么還能有心情在窩里著火時吹口哨呢？” Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭論 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah. Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him." 一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。 她的老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。
因為盡管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。” 那個小女孩說約拿（一位西伯來先知）就是被鯨魚吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。” 那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”
她的老師問：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦？” 那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”。
3.簡短的小學英語笑話
Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。
他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。
他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？”Each day brings its own bread. 天無絕人之路。
Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命運掌握在自己手中。 Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的錯誤可以釀成日后的麻煩。
Early start makes easy stages. 早開始是成功的保證。 有個人不小心撞了一個外國人。
他：I'm sorry 外：I'm sorry ,too.他：I'm sorry ,three外：What are you sorry for ？他：I'm sorry ,five.A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。
“你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。
可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。
這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。
如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”。
4.適合六年級小學生易懂易讀簡短英語小笑話
Not so fast 別那么急嘛 A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala（歡慶的） charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. "Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?" "Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment." 一只豬和一只雞路過一所教堂，那里有一場盛大慈善活動正在進行著。
在精神上收到觸動的豬向小雞提出建議：他們每個人作出點自己的貢獻。 “好主意！”雞尖叫道，“讓我們給腿和雞蛋吧？” “著什么急”豬不耐煩地說，“對你來說，是一個貢獻，對我來說，這是一個完全的獻身。”
The boy and the snails 男孩和蝸牛 A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning？" 一個鄉下少年到處尋找蝸牛，當他雙手都塞滿了蝸牛后，就準備點火烤著吃。火點著了，蝸牛也開始感覺到熱了，他們紛紛退向堅殼的深處，同時還發出“咝咝”的噪音。
男孩子聽到了蝸牛發出的噓聲，便說：“你們這些連命都快沒有的家伙，怎么還能有心情在窩里著火時吹口哨呢？” Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭論 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah. Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him." 一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。 她的老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。
因為盡管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。” 那個小女孩說約拿（一位西伯來先知）就是被鯨魚吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。” 那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”
她的老師問：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦？” 那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”。
5.小學水平的簡短英語小笑話
I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我沒有睡著 當一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。
售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒！” “我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。
“沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”。
6.求最簡短的英語笑話,要最短最短 最好小學水平的
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
媽媽：你為什么不停地跳上跳下的？
湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖動瓶子了
Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon?
*: Yes.
*n: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?
約翰遜先生：今天下午你準備用割草機嗎？
史密斯先生：是的。
約翰遜先生：太好了。既然您不用網球拍，那我可以借用一下嗎？
調查員：What is your father's name?
小弟：Happy
調查員：What is your mother's name?
小弟：Smile
調查員：Are you joking?
小弟：No that's my sister。I am kidding.
你覺得怎樣 ？
7.我要短小（50,60字）的英文故事（笑話也行）,單詞要簡單易讀,中
總有一個適合你，哈哈哈！Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克騎車摔傷，得住院治療.一位年輕美貌的護士拿著表格讓填.仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的？"護士問. "有！"杰克想了想說，"我是個單身漢." Wife:You *ing to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk *d:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子：你看這張報紙，據統計，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫：那有什么？據我調查，死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的."Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.""Yours?Can you prove it?""Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.""請原諒，你占了我的位置.""你的位置？你能征明這點嗎？""能，我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice？" 一天，夏娃問亞當："你當真愛我嗎？"亞當無可奈何地回答："我還有的選擇嗎？"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?""No, but I am always thirsty！" 總感到口渴一個男人對他的朋友說：“我動了一次手術，手術后醫生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了。”
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎？”“不疼，可是我總感到口渴。” A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, *: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一個有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝這么多水呀？杰克：我剛才吃了個蘋果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什么關系呢？杰克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice *: But I"ve got a nice *: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.凱特的禮物凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎？媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀？凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。
媽媽：可是我已經有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。凱特：不，你沒有了。
我剛剛把它給摔了。The Doctor Knows Better.A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the * wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the *g this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you！" 醫生懂得多 一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院。
他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。”
聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”
Waste or Save?Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I？浪費還是節約 父親：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費時間嗎？杰克：我知道，爸爸。
可我還給您節省了一頓飯呢，是不是？Why Is He Howling Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth *t: I know, but you are standing on my foot！他為什么喊牙醫：請你不要再喊了！我還沒碰你的牙呢。病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀。
8.關于小學英語簡短笑話（雙語版）
我有一個好朋友，他叫XXX。
有一天，我問他“pig的拼寫是不是P-U-G?”
他回答，“不是，pig是P-I-G。”
然后我再問他“你確定？pig是U?”
“不是，”他說，“pig是I。”
I have a good friend, his name is ***.
one day ,I asked him :“how to spell“pig”?Is p-u-g?”
He answered quickly: "no, is P - I - G."
then I asked,:"are you sure? i think it is "U"?"
"No," he said, "pig is I"
9.簡單的小學水平英語小笑話,要有翻譯
A is giving riddles to his brotherB: "There is a man, he is my father's son, not my brother, not my sister, who is he? "B shakes his head.A smiles: " It is me ! "B goes to C with the same riddle :"A man, he is my father's son, not my brother nor my sister, who is he? "C doesn't know the answer.B laughs with suffocating, "it is A! "
翻譯
A正在給弟弟犬夜叉猜謎語：“有一個人，他是我父親的兒子，可不是我的兄弟，也不是我的姐妹，他是誰？” B搖頭。 A微笑：“就是我啊！” B回到戈薇處，興奮的出題：“有一個人，他是我父親的兒子，可不是我的兄弟，也不是我的姐妹，他是誰？” C猜不出。 B笑得透不過氣來，“他就是A啊！”
a b c 是人名
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