華閱文章網1.求英語簡短小笑話 5句 10個
1. Mike:Mum,I want to watch *:There is no electricity *:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on. 邁克：媽媽，我想看電視。
媽媽：今晚停電了。邁克：那我們就點著蠟燭看吧。
* Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 魚網 "你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎，安？" 老師發問道。 "把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。
" 小女孩回答道。3. Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue！ " 我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎？”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。 “是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個干什么？” “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”
5. A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet？" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。
她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。
她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？”6. He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。 -- 他真是一個大人物。
干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 7. Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。
在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。 這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。
這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。” * little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不識字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！ 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
9. Bring me the winner —- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 給我那個打贏的吧 -- 服務員， 這個龍蝦只有一只爪。 -- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。
-- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。 10. Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年輕者” 這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。
如果你只有65歲的話， 千萬別進退休社區。因為那里人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。
每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧。”。
2.簡短唯美的英語句子
1、Not easily cut open to others,because others are hilarious,and the pain is yourself.
不要輕易把傷口揭開給別人看，因為別人看的是熱鬧，而痛的卻是自己。
2、Love as drinking,if it light will be tasteless,but liquor burning throat.
相愛如飲酒，淡了無味，烈了傷喉。
3、Obviously the rise is oxygen,but would rather lonely to suffocation.
明明抬頭就是氧氣，卻寧愿孤獨到窒息。
4、Sometimes it is not the person you miss,but the time,the memory you stay with him.
所思非故人，皆因往事入情深。
5、Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience and if it hurts,it's probably worth it.
只要你敞開心扉去迎接新的生活和經歷，哪怕有所疼痛都是值得的！
6、I know someone in the world is waiting for me, although I've no idea of who he is. But I feel happy every day for this.
我知道這世上有人在等我，但我不知道我在等誰，為了這個，我每天都非常快樂。
3.簡短唯美勵志英語句子
Having a calm smile to face with being disdained indicates kind of confidence.
被輕蔑的時候能平靜的一笑，這是一種自信。
Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.
今天，給一個陌生人送上你的微笑吧。很可能，這是他一天中見到的唯一的陽光。
If they throw stones at you, don't throw back, use them to build your own foundation instead.
如果別人朝你扔石頭，就不要扔回去了，留著作你建高樓的基石。
You can't have a better tomorrow if you don't stop thinking about yesterday.
如果你無法忘掉昨天，就不會有一個更好的明天。
4.英語小笑話,簡短
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認出他，”伊凡說。
“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。
他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。
過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
英語小笑話 上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一個老美看到就笑我說， "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性， 縮寫正好是 Adidas） " 我正驚訝他怎么反應這么快， 聯想力這么豐富時，旁邊的 一個老美幫我解圍， 他說， 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn， 他們的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能詳的喔！ 下次就換你去取笑老美了.。
5.英語簡短小笑話,帶翻譯
I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我沒有睡著 當一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。
售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒！” “我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。
“沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。” The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可憐的丈夫 “你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個小時跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯的。”
Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父親在哪兒？ 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。 “看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？” 哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。” Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道這個諺語嗎？ 一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能讓我們的老師回去嗎？ 有一次，一位督學去視察一個只有三間教室的學校。
一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學抓住其中一個正在站著說話的人，把他帶進另一間教室，并讓他站在墻角。五分鐘以后，一個小男孩從第一間教室走進來，問道，“您什么時候能讓我們的老師回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 誰更有禮貌？ 一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。
瘦子說他更有禮貌，因為他經常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認為他更有風度，因為無論什么時候他在車上給別人讓座時，總有兩位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂貴的代價 牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？ 牙科醫生：是的。
但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了 （望采納）。
6.關于英語的小笑話 最好簡短 明了 最主要可笑
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard.
it is too crowded, they shouted. who do you think you are?
I am the driver. he said.
公共汽車上很擠，當又一個人還是試圖上車時，乘客們不讓他上。
車上太擠了，他們喊道，你以為你是誰？
我是司機！他說。
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman siting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
一對在公園散步的夫婦注意到坐在長凳上的那對年輕男女正在熱烈地接吻。
“為什么你不能那樣做呢？”妻子說。
“親愛的，”她丈夫回答，“我又不認識那個女人！”
參考：
7.求一個漂亮簡短的英文句子
我的世界不允許你的消失，不管結局是否完美. No matter the ending is perfect or not, you cannot disappear from my world. 愛情是一個精心設計的謊言 Love is a carefully designed lie. 承諾常常很像蝴蝶，美麗的飛盤旋然后不見 Promises are often like the butterfly, which disappear after beautiful hover. 凋謝是真實的 盛開只是一種過去 Fading is true while flowering is past 為什么幸福總是擦肩而過，偶爾想你的時候….就讓….回憶來陪我. Why I have never catched the happiness? Whenever I want you ,I will be accompanyed by the memory of。
愛情…在指縫間承諾 指縫….在愛情下交纏. Love ,promised between the fingers Finger rift,twisted in the love 如果你為著錯過夕陽而哭泣，那么你就要錯群星了 If you weeped for the missing sunset,you would miss all the shining stars 感受夢的火焰，感覺飛舞瞬間，當一切浪漫遙遠，永恒依然 to feel the flame of dreaming and to feel the moment of dancing,when all the romance is far away,the eternity is always there 沒有誰對不起誰，只有誰不懂得珍惜誰. No one indebted for others,while many people don't know how to cherish others. 永遠不是一種距離，而是一種決定。 Eternity is not a distance but a decision. 在回憶里繼續夢幻不如在地獄里等待天堂 Dreaming in the memory is not as good as waiting for the paradise in the hell Where there is great love, there are always miracles. 哪里有真愛存在，哪里就有奇跡。
Love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and it pleases where it goes. 愛情就像一只蝴蝶，它喜歡飛到哪里，就把歡樂帶到哪里。 If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. 假如每次想起你我都會得到一朵鮮花，那么我將永遠在花叢中徜徉。
Within you I lose myself, without you I find myself wanting to be lost again. 有了你，我迷失了自我。失去你，我多么希望自己再度迷失。
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. 每一個沐浴在愛河中的人都是詩人。 Look into my eyes - you will see what you mean to me. 看看我的眼睛，你會發現你對我而言意味著什么。
Distance makes the hearts grow fonder. 距離使兩顆心靠得更近。 I need him like I need the air to breathe. 我需要他，正如我需要呼吸空氣。
If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving be me. 如果沒有相等的愛，那就讓我愛多一些吧。 Love is a vine that grows into our hearts. 愛是長在我們心里的藤蔓。
If I know what love is, it is because of you. 因為你，我懂得了愛。 Love is the greatest refreshment in life. 愛情是生活最好的提神劑。
Love never dies. 愛情永不死。 The darkness is no darkness with thee. 有了你，黑暗不再是黑暗。
We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us. 如果沒有人愛我們，我們也就不會再愛自己了。 There is no remedy for love but to love more. 治療愛的創傷唯有加倍地去愛。
When love is not madness, it is not love. 如果愛不瘋狂就不是愛了。 A heart that loves is always young. 有愛的心永遠年輕。
Love is blind. 愛情是盲目的。 Love is like the moon, when it does not increase, it decreases. 愛情就像月亮，不增則減。
The soul cannot live without love. 靈魂不能沒有愛而存在。 Brief is life, but love is long. 生命雖短，愛卻綿長。
Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one. 在愛人眼里，一千里的旅程不過一里。 Love keeps the cold out better than a cloak. 愛比大衣更能驅走寒冷。
Take away love, and our earth is a tomb. 沒有了愛，地球便成了墳墓。 My heart is with you. 我的愛與你同在。
I miss you so much already and I haven't even left yet！ 盡管還不曾離開，我已對你朝思暮想！ I'll think of you every step of the way. 我會想你，在漫漫長路的每一步。 Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. 無論你身在何處，無論你為何忙碌，我都會在此守候。
Passionate love is a quenchless thirst. 熱烈的愛情是不可抑制的渴望。 The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart. 在這個世界上，男人最珍貴的財產就是一個女人的心。
One word frees us of all the weight and pain in * word is love. 有一個詞可以讓我們擺脫生活中所有的負擔和痛苦，那就是"愛情"。 Every day without you is like a book without pages. 沒有你的日子就像一本沒有書頁的書。
Love is hard to get into, but harder to get out of. 愛很難投入，但一旦投入，便更難走出。 Love is a light that never dims. 愛是一盞永不昏暗的明燈。
May your love soar on the wings of a dove in flight. 愿你的愛乘著飛翔的白鴿，展翅高飛。 She who has never loved, has never lived. 人活著總要愛一回。
Life is the flower for which love is the honey. 生命如花，愛情是蜜。 No words are necessary between two loving hearts. 兩顆相愛的心之間不需要言語。
Precious things are very few in this world. That is the reason there is just one 。
8.2分鐘簡單的英語小笑話
Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道這個諺語嗎？ 一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”。
9.簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯
Feel Unhappy.心里難受
Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?
Father: Of cause, it is.
Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.
Father(angrily): What? You------
兒子：是不是當心里難受時，就不應該再給他精神或肉體上的刺激？
父親：那當然！
兒子：那好，這次我有兩門功課不及格，我現在心里很難受。
父親（氣憤地）：什么？你……
It's not that. 不是那樣的。
A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.
B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.
A: No, it wasn't raining.
A：我看見7個女孩共撐一把傘卻沒有一個被淋濕。
B：啊？那一定是把很大的傘吧！
A：不是，當時并沒有下雨。
Compare other things？比一下其他？
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。
媽媽：你只關心這個嗎？不會比一下其它東西？
兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,