華閱文章網1.英語笑話 兩個人的對話 簡短的好一些 謝謝
Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his
patient. "You only have six months to live."
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.
"I can't possibly pay you in that time."
"Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."
九個月吧
“克拉克先生，有個壞消息，你只有六個月可活了。”醫生告訴他的病人。
病人驚呆了。“六個月我不可能付清醫療費。”
“好吧，”醫生說，“那就九個月吧。”
2.英語短篇對話笑話
有一天，俺商店里來了個外國人買西餐料。
他選好一樣東西，俺就在計算器上摁出價錢給他看。當然俺有點不好意思了，而且俺還會句英語。
于是 ，俺就對他說： “I am sorry”。 “I am sorry, too” 外國人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。 “What are you sorry for？” 外國人問。
“I am sorry five” 我說……男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？） 女：Actually I''d rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）經典對話二：this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五： 男：Haven''t I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？） 女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六： 男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？） 女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？） 女：Why? Don''t you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）經典對話三： 男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：經典對話七： 男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。） 女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! 2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is。
TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."ELLEN: All right。 "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS: Big hands! 4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, Sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours. 5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher。
snakes don't have * You Know My Work?One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night * men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could * one will be poorer because I took them.”“You don't know my work,” said the other.“What is your work?”“I'm a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”譯文：（自己簡單翻譯）你知道我是干什么的嗎？一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。
如果有人把紙幣留在火里，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。
沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”“你不知道我是干什么的。”
另一個說。“你是干什么的？”“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”
警察說。“我是個作家。
我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”。
3.簡單搞笑的英語對話
Topic: the academy life Judih: Hi,Cys,Angy, long time no see! How are you? C: Hi , * are you? Yes, It's really long time since we met last time on the " Farewell Party" of our senior high school. A: Yes, Judy, you look so different now..en..i have to say you look gorgeous! J: Ha ha! Thanks my friends. How's everything going in your univercities, by the way? C: Well! Neither too bad nor too good! You know the academy life is just like that ,from classroom to library everyday, nothing special. I am a little bit bored of it! I wish i could be out of city town to enjoy the Fresh air in the countryside. A: But my academy life is so fantastic. I have read a lot of famous works in library ,seems it's not enough to have only 24 hours per day. I love it, everyday is so rich and colorful. Hey , just to imagine what we will be after graduation makes me so excited and spunky. What about you Judy? J: Me? oh , wonderful! I joined many communities in my University, and quite lot of outdoor experiences have made me amounts of friends , it also helps me prepare myself for the fierce competition before I get into the real market. C: oh Judy , I envy you,i wish i could be with you do some out-door exercises. A: Judy , yeah! You remind me something maybe I should register some community in my University but not only with my "Shakespeare"! J: oh Come on, girls! Everyone can make the academy life special and unforgettable, the problem is in which way you choose to live your academy life! My friends, good luck and best wishes to all of your families, will see you around! A & C: you too, my dear sis! see you later! DIALOGUE 1 A: Why is it that some people are always buying beyond their means? I mean, they do not make that much and spend half of their incomes on designer clothes as such. B: My theory is that insecure people need to wear famous brand clothing to feel good. C: Yes! They want people to know that they are good enough to afford the best. A: Well, I don't agree that name brands are just for the insecure. I mean, I like my designer clothes too. I do think designer shoes are more comfortable. C: So, you buy designer shoes for comfort? How about those ridiculous designer sweaters that have holes in them and shoes that have 2.5cm heels? B: Hah~! And those funny hats! You surely aren't saying that these things are functional. A: i disagree. Most designer and brand-name items are actually not useless. What you see on the catwalks are just the extremes. What you find in the stores is more functional. B: And not much less expensive! So don't tell me that you're into designer stuff. A: Like I said, some things are worth spending the money on, like stylish but comfortable shoes. But I wouldn't get designer underwear, for example. I mean, for one pair of brand-name underwear, Ican buy 10 pairs of sturdy cotton underwear at the market and just throw them into the wash and not be heartbroken if they change color. But I'd buy a brand-name washing machine because I believe they work longer. DIALOGUE 2 A: Hey, that's a beautiful bag you've got! Is it genuine Louis Vuitton? B: No, are you kidding? I can't afford the real thing. It's a fake that I got at a street market on the cheap. C: But don't you feel bad supporting pirates? I mean pirated stuff undercuts companies which produce the real things. B: So should we all drive Ferraris? There are those who can afford to and those who can't. Those who can't buy a cheaper sports car and paint it Ferrari-red. Pirated stuff is for those too poor to afford the real thing. C: I think it is illegal. B: What? Illegal to want to look good? A: No, illegal to own, sell and above all, manufacture fakes. It's like copyright - if you author a book, you don't want someone else to print and sell it for their own profits, do you? B: I see what you mean about books, but if I write a novel, I hope it's read by as many people as possible so I price it so that it's accessible to the most. But designer luxury items are priced beyond most people's means - they are not intended for the general public but for the elite few. And that's why I don't care about supporting pirated luxury items. C: What aoubt pirated textbooks? A photocopy of the original at a tenth of the price? Would you buy that? Furthermore, what about music? I mean CDs and the like？ 希望令你滿意！B: Um, I guess you're right there. It's not fair to exploit the work of other authors and producers. But I still wish they wouldn't price their products so high。
4.三則英語對話笑話.. 簡短的 并且帶有翻譯
Knows Better 醫生懂得多 A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you！" 一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。” 醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。” 聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。” 妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”
Cat and Mice 貓和老鼠 Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. " What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. "So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。“盒子里裝的是什么？”朋友問道。“一只小貓，”布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友說。“小貓也是假想的。”布朗夫人小聲說道。
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
一個年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了一個漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室里，看到有一個人在外面，于是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個大數字，好像在談一筆大買賣。
到了最后，他終于掛了電話，問來訪的人，“有事兒嘛？”那個人回答，“我是來給你安裝電話的。”
5.英語笑話兩個人的對話簡短的好一些
*,I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told hispatient."You only have six months to live."The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes."I can't possibly pay you in that time.""Okay," the doctor said,"let's make it nine months."九個月吧“克拉克先生，有個壞消息，你只有六個月可活了.”醫生告訴他的病人.病人驚呆了.“六個月我不可能付清醫療費.”“好吧，”醫生說，“那就九個月吧.”。
6.簡單又搞笑的兩人英語對話
你選選吧
經典對話一：
男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？）
女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）
經典對話二：
男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？）
女：Why? Don't you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）
經典對話三：
男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：
男：Is this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五：
男：Haven't I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？）
女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？）
女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
經典對話七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。）
女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）
7.英語短篇對話笑話
有一天，俺商店里來了個外國人買西餐料。
他選好一樣東西，俺就在計算器上摁出價錢給他看。當然俺有點不好意思了，而且俺還會句英語。
于是 ，俺就對他說： “I am sorry”。 “I am sorry, too” 外國人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。 “What are you sorry for？” 外國人問。
“I am sorry five” 我說……男：Can I buy you a drink？（我可以為你買一杯飲料嗎？） 女：Actually I''d rather have the money.（不必，我我寧愿留下那些錢。）經典對話二：this seat empty？（直譯：這個座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
經典對話五： 男：Haven''t I seen you some place before？（我好像以前在什么地方見過你？） 女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.（是的。這就是為什么我不再去那個地方的原因。）
經典對話六： 男：Will you go out with me this Saturday？（這個星期六你想跟我出去嗎？） 女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。這個周末我頭疼。）
男：Can I have your name？（直譯：我能有你的名字嗎？） 女：Why? Don''t you already have one？ （為什么？你不是已經有一個了嗎？）經典對話三： 男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是攝影師。我一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科醫生。我也一直在尋找一張像你這樣的臉。）
經典對話四：經典對話七： 男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能讓你非常快樂。） 女：Why? Are you leaving？（是嗎？你是說你要離開？）1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! 2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is。
TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."ELLEN: All right。 "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS: Big hands! 4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, Sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours. 5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher。
snakes don't have * You Know My Work?One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night * men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could * one will be poorer because I took them.”“You don't know my work,” said the other.“What is your work?”“I'm a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”譯文：（自己簡單翻譯）你知道我是干什么的嗎？一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。
如果有人把紙幣留在火里，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。
沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”“你不知道我是干什么的。”
另一個說。“你是干什么的？”“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”
警察說。“我是個作家。
我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”。
8.20個英語笑話爆笑五分鐘對白
只找到這么多了肉 I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我沒有睡著 當一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。
售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒！” “我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。
“沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。” The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可憐的丈夫 “你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個小時跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯的。”
Where is the father？ 推薦各種圖片笑話給你→ Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父親在哪兒？ 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。 “看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？” 哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。” Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道這個諺語嗎？ 一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能讓我們的老師回去嗎？ 有一次，一位督學去視察一個只有三間教室的學校。
一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學抓住其中一個正在站著說話的人，把他帶進另一間教室，并讓他站在墻角。五分鐘以后，一個小男孩從第一間教室走進來，問道，“您什么時候能讓我們的老師回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 誰更有禮貌？ 一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。
瘦子說他更有禮貌，因為他經常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認為他更有風度，因為無論什么時候他在車上給別人讓座時，總有兩位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂貴的代價 牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？ 牙科醫生：是的。
但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了。