華閱文章網1.英語簡短幽默的小故事（1分半鐘）
Talking clock 會說話的鐘 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning！" 一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。
“那個大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的？”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。
“這鐘怎么工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。
突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡！現在是凌晨兩點鐘了！” 這是第一篇~ A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問："主啊， 一百萬美元對你意味著多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又問："那一百萬年呢？"上帝說："一秒鐘."最后男子請求道："上帝，我能得到一便士嗎？"上帝回答："過一秒鐘." Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"！ 四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了，他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說："恭喜，你得了雙胞胎."男人說："多奇怪呀，我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的 經理."過了一會兒，護士過來對第二個男人說："恭喜，你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡："嗯，又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后，護士跑來對第三個男人 說："恭喜，你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說："真令人啼笑皆非，我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興，但第四個伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻，咒罵上帝 并用頭撞墻.他們問他有什么不對勁，他回答道："什么不對勁？我可是在七喜公司工作呀！" 呵呵，一個比一個效率高.。
2.有趣的英文小故事,一分鐘左右,速度
1)Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.” 湯姆是個小孩， 他才7歲。
當他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。
他買了張票進去了。 但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進去了。
幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。
一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊？ 你見到了幾個朋友？" "沒有， 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當我進門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了" 2)A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river." He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【譯文】 一個人正朝著一個富人的房子走去，當他沿著路走時，在路的一邊他發現一箱好蘋果，他說：“我不打算吃那些蘋果，因為富人會給我更多的食物，他會給我很好吃的東西。”然后他拿起蘋果，一把扔到土里去。
他繼續走，來到河邊，河漲水了，因此，他到不了河對岸，他等了一會兒，然后他說：“今天我去不了富人家了，因為我不能渡過河。” 他開始回家，那天他沒有吃東西。
他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。 不要把好東西扔掉，換個時候你會覺得它們大有用處。
3)Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一塊兒回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。
他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”4)Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了一些強力安眠藥。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床一點麻煩都沒有。”
“好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？” （這都是幽默的英語短文，如果不夠，歡迎追問）。
3.簡單的英語故事最好只有一分鐘就可以了,十分鐘內要背會,
The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 老貓 一位老婦有只貓，這只貓很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了東西，因為它年紀太大了.一天，老貓發現一只老鼠，它跳過去抓這只老鼠，然而，它咬不住這只老鼠.因此，老鼠從它的嘴邊溜掉了，因為老貓咬不了它. 于是，老婦很生氣，因為老貓沒有把老鼠咬死.她開始打這只貓，貓說：“不要打你的老仆人，我已經為你服務了很多年，而且還愿意為你效勞，但是，我實在太老了，對年紀大的不要這么無情，要記住老年人在年青時所做過的有益的事情.” 單詞還都挺簡單的，應該可以吧.。
4.英語小故事帶翻譯簡短一些,最好帶翻譯,1分鐘以內,急
Once upon a time, people are raising a sheep. One morning, he found a small sheep, carefully check, original pen broke a hole, night wolf get carried away a sheep a. The neighbors advised him to say: " to the sheepfold, plug the hole!" The man refused to accept advice, said:" the sheep have been lost, but also repair the pen stem what?" The very next day morning, he was surprised to find the sheep and one less. Originally, the wolf again from the hole drilling, carry off a sheep. He is very regret not following the neighbor's advice, will quickly plug hole, fix the sheepfold. Since then, the wolf can't take the lamb of the drilling pen.從前，有人養了一圈羊。
一天早晨，他發現少了一只羊，仔細一查，原來羊圈破了個窟窿，夜間狼鉆進來把羊叼走了一只。鄰居勸他說：“趕快把羊圈修一修，堵上窟窿吧！”那個人不肯接受勸告，回答說：“羊已經丟了，還修羊圈干什么？”第二天早上，他發現羊又少了一只。
原來，狼又從窟窿鉆進來，叼走了一只羊。他很后悔自己沒聽從鄰居的勸告，便趕快堵上窟窿，修好了羊圈。
從此，狼再也不能鉆進羊圈叼羊了。 謝謝采納。
5.英語小故事1分鐘左右帶翻譯
THE LION AND THE MOUSE 獅和鼠 Lion was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up in anger, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: "If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness." The Lion laughed and let him go. 一只老鼠從一只獅子面前跑過去，將它從夢中吵醒。
獅子生氣地跳起來，捉住老鼠，要弄死它。老鼠哀求說：“只要你肯饒恕我這條小生命，我將來一定會報答你的大恩。”
獅子便笑著放了它。 It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came up, and gnawed the rope with his teeth, and setting him free, exclaimed: "You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, not expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favour; but now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to confer benefits on a Lion." 后來獅子被幾個獵人捉住，用粗繩捆綁倒在地上。
老鼠聽出是獅子的吼聲，走來用牙齒咬斷繩索，釋放了牠，并大聲說：“你當時嘲笑我想幫你的忙，而且也不指望我有什么機會報答。但是你現在知道了，就算是小老鼠，也能向獅子效勞的。”
6.英語小笑話、故事,帶翻譯,簡短,一分鐘左右能說完的
One or Two
Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.
顧客：服務員，我盤子里怎么只有一塊肉？
服務員：先生，請稍候，我去把它切成兩塊。
Father and Son
Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
兒子：爸爸，聽說在非洲的一些地方男人在結婚前根本不認識他的妻子。
父親：孩子，實際上所有的國家都是這樣的。
It depends
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？
售票員：那得看你跑得有多快。火車15分鐘前開出。
To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer（門廳，大廳） . A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?
Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all.
Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row.
在一家電影院里，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。幾分鐘后，他回到那排位子并問坐在首位的那位男士道：
對不起，請問我剛才出去的時候是踩著你的腳嗎？
是的，不過沒什么關系，一點也不疼。
噢，不，我不是這個意思。我只是想確認一下這是不是我的那排位子。
7.最簡單的英語小故事容易,只需一分鐘
one hot summer day a fox was walking through an * stopped before a bunch of * were ripe and juicy."i'm just feeling thirsty," he * he backed up a few paces,got a running start,jumped up,but could not reach the * walked *,two,three,he jumped up again,but still,he missed the * fox tried again and again,but never * last he decided to give it * walked away with his nose in the air,and said“i am sure they are sour.”一個炎熱的夏日，狐貍走過一個果園，他停在一大串熟透而多汁的葡萄前.狐貍想：“我正口渴呢.”于是他后退了幾步，向前一沖，跳起來，卻無法夠到葡萄.狐貍后退又試.一次，兩次，三次，但是都沒有得到葡萄.狐貍試了一次又一次，都沒有成功.最后，他決定放棄，他昂起頭，邊走邊說：“葡萄還沒有成熟，我敢肯定它是酸的.”寓意：在經歷了許多嘗試而不能獲得成功的時候，有些人往往故意輕視成功，以此來尋求心理安慰.。
8.一分鐘簡單英語小故事
聰明女兒
Clever daughter
女兒：“媽媽，您愛吃蘋果嗎？”
Daughter: "Mom, you love to eat apples?"
媽媽：“愛吃。”
Mom: "eat."
女兒：“很愛吃嗎？”
Daughter: "love?"
媽媽：“很愛吃。”
Mom: "love."
女兒：“那您別給我買蘋果。”
Daughter: "you don't buy me a apple."
媽媽：“為什么？”
Mother: "why?"
女兒：“您在路上會全吃光的。”
Daughter: "you will all out on the road."
聰明女兒
女兒：“媽媽，您愛吃蘋果嗎？”
媽媽：“愛吃。”
女兒：“很愛吃嗎？”
媽媽：“很愛吃。”
女兒：“那您別給我買蘋果。”
媽媽：“為什么？”
女兒：“您在路上會全吃光的。”
9.1分鐘英語演講小故事
A poor pig Danny is a little pig . He is unhappy because he wants to leave home to see the world . It's a sunny day . Danny goes away when his parents are sleeping . on his way he meets an elephant , a peacock and a rabbit . At last , he gets to a lake . He looks at his reflection in the water and says, “I wish I have an elephant's nose , a peacock's tail and a rabbit's ears .” after a while , Danny's wish comes true . He runs back excitedly . But his parents can't recognize Danny , “Go away , you're not our son .” Danny goes to the lake again . “ I just want to be a pig .” He says sadly .Danny waits and waits . He becomes a pig again . Danny runs back quickly . His parents hug and say , “ This is our lovely baby .”。
10.最簡單的英語小故事容易簡單,只需一分鐘我才上四年級
Once upon a time, there was a mouse father.
He wanted to marry his daughter to the greatest person in the world.
But, who was the greatest person in the world?
Oh! The sun! He must be the greatest person in the world.
The mouse father went to talk to the sun.
“Hello! Mr. Sun. I know you are the greatest person in the world.
Would you marry my daughter?”
“What? I'm not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the cloud.
If he comes out, I'll be covered.”
The mouse father went to talk to the cloud.
“Hello! Mr. Cloud. I know you are the greatest person in the world.
Would you marry my daughter?”
“What? I'm not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the wind.
If he comes out, I'll be blown away.”
The mouse father went to talk to the wind.
“Hello! Mr. Wind. I know you are the greatest person in the world.
Would you marry my daughter?”
“What? I'm not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the wall.
If he comes out, I'll be stopped.”
The mouse father went to talk to the wall.
“Hello! Mr. Wall. I know you are the greatest person in the world.
Would you marry my daughter?”
“What? I'm not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is YOU, the mouse.”
“The greatest person in the world is … mouse?”
“Yes, the greatest person in the world is mouse. See? If mouse comes out, I'll be bit!”
The mouse father was very happy.
He finally knew mouse was the greatest person in the world.
He would marry his daughter to the handsome mouse next door.
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