華閱文章網1.跪求一則簡短幽默的英語小故事
Second language A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language？" 一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：“現在你知道外語的重要性了吧。”
2.求一個簡單有趣的英語故事
An Archer, hunting in the woods, was so successful with his arrows that he killed many of the wild animals. This frightened the rest so much that they ran into the densest part of the bushes to hide. At last the Tiger stood up, and pretending to be very brave, told the other animals not to be afraid anymore, but to rely on his courage, and he would attack the enemy on his own. While he was talking, and lashing his tail and tearing at the ground with his claws to impress the others, an arrow came and pierced his ribs. The Tiger howled with pain.
While he was trying to draw out the arrow with his teeth the Fox went up to him and asked, in surprise, whoever had the strength and courage to wound such a brave and mighty beast as the Tiger?
"Nay," said the Tiger, "I misjudged my enemy. It was that unbeatable man over there!"
MORAL: Knowledge is power.
狐貍和老虎
一個射手正在森林里打獵。他的箭法好極了，射死了許多野獸。這可大大地嚇壞了余下的動物，它們都跑到最茂盛的灌木叢中躲藏起來。最后，老虎站了起來，裝著非常勇敢的樣子叫其余的動物相信它的勇敢，不必再害怕。它將獨個兒向敵人進攻。它一邊說著，一邊甩動著它的尾巴，并用它的爪子刨著地上的泥土，想使別人更信任它。就在這時，一枝箭飛來，刺穿了他的肋骨，老虎頓時痛得吼叫起來。
正當它盡力用牙齒拔出身上的箭時，狐貍走上前來吃驚地問道：“誰能有這樣的力氣和膽量來傷害象老虎這樣勇敢而強有力的野獸呢？”
“不，”老虎說，“我錯誤地判斷了我的敵人，是那邊那個不可戰勝的人打敗了我。”
3.跪求一則簡短幽默的英語小故事
Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見一只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：“現在你知道外語的重要性了吧。”
4.求 簡單的幽默英語小故事
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"
"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."
"Well done. Who was that?"
"My granny."
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"
一個主日學校校（基督教教會為了向兒童灌輸宗教思想， 在星期天開辦的兒童班）的老師在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。“現在，孩子們，”她說：“你們當中有誰讓別人高興過
5.求 幾篇簡短有趣的英語故事
120真的很短。
Bullet
It takes me almost a minute to remember my first name and the better part of another to realize that I'm on my back on the sidewalk. I figure that's how I know, even if "knowing" isn't really the word I'm looking for.
Or maybe it's the way they all make a point of looking at me without really looking - no eye contact, that sort of thing. The pedestrians, the buildings, the street signs, all of them ignoring me even as they stare. Even as the life escapes from between my lips, viscous and bitter.
I know that I have mere heartbeats remaining, maybe less. But I can't tear my eyes away from the sun.
6.求一個搞笑的英語小故事（盡量短些）
湯姆是個小孩， 他才7歲。
當他去電影院的時候。那時他第一次去。
他買了張票進去了。 但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了，然后買了第二張票又進去了。
幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。
一個女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊？ 你見到了幾個朋友？" "沒有， 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當我進門的時候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了" Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.” After Keating had learnt the fine art training course conducted by the Children's Palace for two years,he draw a portrait by the fauvism for his father as his birthday *g at his own "portrait painting" , his father felt a pang of pain, saying:"You'd better add the to it and convert it into a gorilla." 在季慈在少年宮學習了2年的繪畫培訓之后，他給父親畫了一副野獸派的自畫像作為生日禮物。 看著這副 野獸派的自畫像，他的父親感到一陣痛楚，你最好給它加個東西，將它改類為黑猩猩 Why is he crying？ 他為什么哭泣？ “Tom, what's the matter with your brother?” asked the mother in the kitchen. “He's crying.” “Oh, nothing, Mum” replied Tom. “I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any.” “But has he finished his own cake?” “Yes.” said Tom. “And he also cried when I was helping him finish that.” “湯姆，你弟弟怎么了？”在廚房的媽媽問道。
“他怎么在哭啊？” “哦，沒事兒，媽媽。”湯姆回答道。
“我在吃我的蛋糕。因為我不給他，他就哭了。”
“那他吃完了自己那塊了？” “是的。”湯姆說。
“我幫他吃蛋糕的時候就哭了。” Are They Worn Out? "No," growled the quartermaster, "you can't have a new pair of shoes. The pair you have aren't worn out." "Not worn out," cried the recruit, " Why, if I step on a dime I can feel if it's head or tails." 還沒穿破？ “不行，”軍需官大聲說：“你不能領一雙新鞋子，你穿著的那雙還沒有穿破。”
“沒穿破，”新兵叫道：“為什么？如果我踩到一個一角硬幣，我可以知道踩著的那面是公還是字。” * Father: This is the sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know. Friend: Ah, that accounts for it! I never saw a sunset like that in this country. 日落 父親：這幅《日落》是我女兒畫的，你知道，她曾在國外學過畫畫。
朋友：啊，怪不得！我在本國還從來沒有見過這樣的日落。 3.A Great Man Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today? Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years. 一名偉人 老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎？ 學生：當然。
因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。
7.求一個簡單的英語幽默小故事,不要太長
Tom has two * ate one and ask Jim "how mang apples do I have now?".Jim answered quickly"very easy,one."But Tom said"no ,I have two .One is inside and the other is outside.湯姆有兩個蘋果。
他吃了一個，然后問吉姆“我現在有幾個蘋果？”吉姆很快的回答說“太簡單了，一個嘛。”但是湯姆說“不對，我有兩個。
一個在里面（肚子里）一個在外面。
8.請給我提供一個簡短的英語幽默故事,急
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
或長的
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."
9.英語簡短幽默的小故事（1分半鐘）
Talking clock 會說話的鐘 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning！" 一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。
“那個大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的？”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。
“這鐘怎么工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。
突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡！現在是凌晨兩點鐘了！” 這是第一篇~ A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問："主啊， 一百萬美元對你意味著多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又問："那一百萬年呢？"上帝說："一秒鐘."最后男子請求道："上帝，我能得到一便士嗎？"上帝回答："過一秒鐘." Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"！ 四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了，他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說："恭喜，你得了雙胞胎."男人說："多奇怪呀，我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的 經理."過了一會兒，護士過來對第二個男人說："恭喜，你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡："嗯，又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后，護士跑來對第三個男人 說："恭喜，你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說："真令人啼笑皆非，我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興，但第四個伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻，咒罵上帝 并用頭撞墻.他們問他有什么不對勁，他回答道："什么不對勁？我可是在七喜公司工作呀！" 呵呵，一個比一個效率高.。
10.請給我提供一個簡短的英語幽默故事,急
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.' 或長的There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with *, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the * the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it * friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.""You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?""I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."。
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