華閱文章網1.英語幽默小故事
A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed. Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding！ 釘子還是蒼蠅？一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。
他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在墻上有只蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。
他把兩只瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。一個女服務員發現發生的事情以后，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。
于是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。 這里，老人回到了房里。
倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往墻上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒！他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。
聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員沖進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。
2.簡單有趣的英語小短文
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
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在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由于開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學校的老師，對嗎？女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的愿望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。
這篇很簡單，沒有難的單詞
3.英文小幽默20篇.
============英文小幽默（1）============小明上英文課時跟老師說：“May I go to the toilet？” 老師說：“Go ahead.” 小明就坐了下來。
過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：“May I go to the toilet？” 老師說：“Go ahead. ”小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學于是忍不住問：“你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？”小明說：“你沒聽老師說‘去你個頭’啊！”============ 英文小幽默（2）============某人刻苦學習英語，終有小成。
一日上街不慎與一老外相撞，忙說：I am sorry。老外應道：I am sorry too。
某人聽后又道：I am sorry three。老外不解，問：What are you sorry for？某人無奈，道：I am sorry five。
===================================================================更多的英文小幽默鏈接：?device=mobile&ssid=0&from=844b&uid=0&pu=sz@1320_1001,ta@iphone_2_4.4_3_534,usm@0&bd_page_type=1&baiduid=&tj=2Fl_1_0_10_titleBig Head“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”“Where's the shopping bag?”“I haven't got one,use your hat.”大腦袋“所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑，”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說：“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”
“別聽他們的，”他媽媽安慰說：“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。”
“購物袋在哪？”“我沒有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父親在哪兒？ 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。 “看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？” 哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”。