華閱文章網1.英語笑話帶翻譯,簡短些,最好三至四句話
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學遲到？
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"
Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of * Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店里買一盒好用的火柴。湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？”
“是的，媽媽。”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了。”
Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
開車
父親：哎呀，我剛才違規右轉彎了。
蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉了。
Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You'er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents * why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個可憐的老太婆。”他回答說。“你真是一個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
2.英語笑話帶翻譯,簡短些,最好三至四句話
TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher:Tom,why are you late for school every day?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go Slow".湯姆的借口 老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學遲到？湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行."Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of * Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店里買一盒好用的火柴.湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？” “是的，媽媽.”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了.”Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand *:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing！開車 父親：哎呀，我剛才違規右轉彎了.蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉了.Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.“You'er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents * why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢.“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆.”他回答說.“你真是一個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給你兩分錢.可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的.”Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is * who can tell us which is which?Student:I cannot point out but I know the *r:Please tell *t:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.兩只鳥 老師：這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀.誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？學生：我指不出，但我知道答案.老師：請說說看.學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子.。
3.三則英語對話笑話.. 簡短的 并且帶有翻譯
Knows Better 醫生懂得多 A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you！" 一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。” 醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。” 聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。” 妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”
Cat and Mice 貓和老鼠 Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. " What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. "So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。“盒子里裝的是什么？”朋友問道。“一只小貓，”布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友說。“小貓也是假想的。”布朗夫人小聲說道。
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
一個年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了一個漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室里，看到有一個人在外面，于是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個大數字，好像在談一筆大買賣。
到了最后，他終于掛了電話，問來訪的人，“有事兒嘛？”那個人回答，“我是來給你安裝電話的。”
4.簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯
Feel Unhappy.心里難受 Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy? Father: Of cause, it is. Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time. Father(angrily): What? You------ 兒子：是不是當心里難受時，就不應該再給他精神或肉體上的刺激？ 父親：那當然！ 兒子：那好，這次我有兩門功課不及格，我現在心里很難受。
父親（氣憤地）：什么？你…… It's not that. 不是那樣的。 A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet. B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella. A: No, it wasn't raining. A：我看見7個女孩共撐一把傘卻沒有一個被淋濕。
B：啊？那一定是把很大的傘吧！ A：不是，當時并沒有下雨。 Compare other things？比一下其他？ Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon's name signed. Mom: You just care about this? Haven't you compared other things? Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you. 兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。
媽媽：你只關心這個嗎？不會比一下其它東西？ 兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。
他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,。
5.英語笑話帶翻譯 短一些
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學遲到？ 湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。
" Mother: Why are you jumping up and down? Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle. 媽媽：你為什么不停地跳上跳下的？ 湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖瓶子了 Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him? Jack: Certainly. Tom: And why? Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me. 湯姆：威廉向我借五英鎊。我該不該借給他？ 杰克：當然應該了。
湯姆：為什么？ 杰克：否則他就該跟我借了。
6.英語小笑話,越短越好,3.4句話,帶翻譯
我這有幾個英語小笑話：
校園幽默四則
1.
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
2.
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
魚網
"你能告訴我魚網是什么做的嗎，安？" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。
3.
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said
that two and four were six too。.."
新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學回到家里。
"喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？" 媽媽問。
"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6， 可后來又說2加4也得6。"
4.
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
were thinking it * question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考試
在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。
這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？
尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
7.英語超短笑話（含中文,三句）
笑話一
my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
笑話二The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
醫生住在樓下
“醫生”她沖進屋后大聲說道。
“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什么病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”
笑話三 He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
8.英語超短笑話（三句,含中文）
I Will Forget It 我會忘記的 David:Have you forgotten that you owe me fifty dollars？大衛：你忘了欠我的50美元了吧？ Smith:No,not * me time ,and I will.史密斯：不，還沒有忘，給我些時間，我會忘記的。
Both Are Busy彼此都很忙 Tall man :That boy fell into the river just * didn't you jump into the river to save him？高個男人：剛才那個男孩掉進河里了，你為什么不跳進河里去救他？ Short man :I was too busy.矮個男人：我太忙了。 Tall man :What were you doing then？高個男人：你當時在干什么？ Short man :I was crying"Help !Help！"矮個男人：我在喊“救命！救命！” Haven't Done Anything.沒干什么 “Take a week's *'re sacked.”去領本周的工資吧，你被開除了。
“But I haven't done anything！”可我什么都沒干！ “That's why you;re sacked.”所以你被開除了。
9.英語超短笑話（三句,含中文）
I Will Forget It 我會忘記的 David:Have you forgotten that you owe me fifty dollars？大衛：你忘了欠我的50美元了吧？ Smith:No,not * me time ,and I will.史密斯：不，還沒有忘，給我些時間，我會忘記的。
Both Are Busy彼此都很忙 Tall man :That boy fell into the river just * didn't you jump into the river to save him？高個男人：剛才那個男孩掉進河里了，你為什么不跳進河里去救他？ Short man :I was too busy.矮個男人：我太忙了。 Tall man :What were you doing then？高個男人：你當時在干什么？ Short man :I was crying"Help !Help！"矮個男人：我在喊“救命！救命！” Haven't Done Anything.沒干什么 “Take a week's *'re sacked.”去領本周的工資吧，你被開除了。
“But I haven't done anything！”可我什么都沒干！ “That's why you;re sacked.”所以你被開除了。
10.簡單的英語小笑話帶翻譯
Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。
“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。”
Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告訴 （2） nest n.窩；巢 （3） description n.描述 （4） encourage v.鼓勵 （5） resemble v. 相似；類似 18.鳥窩與頭發 我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個窩。
“是什么鳥呢？”我姐姐問她。 “我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩。”
那孩子回答說。 “那么，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎？”我姐姐鼓勵她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭發一樣。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 （2） Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因為我剛咬了自己的舌頭。
句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。 我剛咬破自己的舌頭 “我們有毒嗎？”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個干什么？” “因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet？" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。
接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。
我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？” 英語笑話（一） Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。
但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn？ 如果你踩了農夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定會生氣的；而如果你踩了農夫腳底的雞眼，他會更生氣。
Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“雞眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因為snail（蝸牛）的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。
你說呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces這個短語，你可千萬別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀！因為除了這個意思以外，它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎樣才能不讓夢游者（sleepwalker）夢游（walk in his sleep）呢？最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。
雖然這不是治療方法，但如果讓夢游者醒著呢，他的確就不會去夢游了。 英語笑話（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一個大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。
英語笑話（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它們是從美國直接帶來的 一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家。
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