華閱文章網1.初中英語小品 簡單,搞笑,含有大量中文,五分鐘左右
The Mean Man's Party
吝嗇鬼的聚會
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
2:
老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time is money.并讓同學們翻譯。有名學生答道：“湯姆是瑪麗。”
小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下來。過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？
小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個頭」啊！
3:
hey,that lady, i like you ,will you be my girlfiend?
-oh,sorry ,i think you have to make your face changed first, you are too handsome to be looked at.
everybody was dancing while a blonde alone in an armchair. just then, she was happy to see a handsome young man coming towards her.
"are you going to dancing ?"asked the man pleassntly.
"yes,"she whispered.
4:
how are you ？怎么是你？
how old are you ？怎么老是你？
2.英語搞笑小品,初中水平,兩人,3~4分鐘
中學英語小品-Little Red Riding Hood Little Red Riding Hood:Ashley（需有舞蹈動作） Dad:Lan Foxes:Wison Tim Ducks:Suzy Vivian（需有舞蹈動作） Wolf:Daisy Hunter:Linda Grandpa:Bruce :Little Red Riding Hood家 音樂1起 Dad： （爸爸拿著一個籃子，把桌子上的水果放在籃子里） Little Red Riding Hood：（唱著歌，歡快地跑進來）Hi, dad, what are you doing? Dad： （一邊把水果放在籃子里，心事重重地說）Grandpa is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandpa. Take them to Grandpa. Little Red Riding Hood：（邊提起籃子，邊點頭說）Ok! Dad： （親切地看著Little Red Riding Hood說） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood: Yes , *e, dad. Dad: Bye-bye. Darling. （一陣輕快的音樂2由遠而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎著籃子蹦跳跳地） Little Red Riding Hood: Wow, So many flowers, how beautiful! Fox A: Hi, little girl. what are you doing here? There is a wolf here. Little Red Riding Hood: I am going to grandma's home. Fox B: Be careful!It must like to eat you. Little Red Riding Hood: oh, really? Fox A: Yes, he's very cruel. Little Red Riding Hood: Thank you very much! Foxes: Take care of yourself! Bye-bye! (Little Red Riding Hood挎著籃子繼續蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁) Little Red Riding Hood: I like the pink flowers！ （放下籃子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers。
Wolf：（隨著一陣低沉的音樂3,Wolf大步地走上臺）I am a wolf. I am hungry. （做找東西狀，東張西望） Here is a little girl. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going？ （做狡猾的樣子和 Little Red Riding Hood打招呼） Little Red Riding Hood：（手摸辮子，天真地回答）To Grandpa'*a is ill. Wolf：（自言自語）I' ll eat Grandpa. But……（對Little Red Riding Hood說）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks. Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大樹后） 音樂4起 Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks,How are you? Duck A: We are fine. Thank you. Can we help you? Little Red Riding Hood:No thank you. Duck B: What are you doing here? Little Red Riding Hood:Grandpa is ill. I am going to grandpa's home. Duck A: Oh, you should be careful. There is a wolf. Little Red Riding Hood:Yes, foxes told me. Oh, I must go to grandpa's home now, bye. Duck B:Goodbye.( Little Red Riding Hood下場，ducks隨后下場) Grandpa：（喘著氣出場，顫顫悠悠地走到床前，坐到床邊，喘了幾口，打幾個哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。） Wolf：（從樹后出來，邊走邊說）I am very hungry now. （做找尋的樣子）Where is Grandma's house？ （高興 地對觀眾說）Aha , it's here.（敲門）Bang, Bang, Bang. Grandpa: Who is it? Wolf：（裝出Little Red Riding Hood的聲音，一邊得意地搖動尾巴）It's me. Little Red Riding Hood. Grandpa： （邊說邊起床） Come in, come in. Wolf：（得意洋洋地走到床邊） Grandma , I'll eat you. Grandpa： （驚慌失措地抓緊衣服，瞪著眼睛，邊叫迫從床上滾到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翹起大拇指）Yummy!I'll sleep. Little Red Riding Hood：（高興地敲門）*a. Wolf：（裝扮成Grandma的聲音） Who is it? Little Red Riding Hood:It's me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise! Wolf:Come in, Come in. Little Red Riding Hood：（蹦跳著進來，把籃子放在桌上，走到床前看，跳回幾步）Oh! What are big ears! Wolf:I can listen to your sweet voice. Little Red Riding Hood:Wow! What a big eyes! Wolf:I can see you pretty face. Little Red Riding Hood:Oh! What a big hand. Wolf:I can hug you. Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，邊摸邊說）Look! What a big hands? Wolf：（從床上跳起來說）I can eat you! Little Red Riding Hood：（拼命地跑）Oh!No! No! Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃狀，拍拍肚子）It's yummy. I still sleep. I like sleeping. Hunter： （一邊拿著槍，一邊尋找出場）Where's the wolf? Look! A door.（推門）The wolf is sleeping. Wolf：（發出呼呼的響聲） Hunter：（端起槍想打，又放下）What a big stomach！ （摸摸Wolf的肚子）Grandpa and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry.（從桌紫拿起剪刀，舉起） Look! Scissors. （做剪Wolf的肚子） Cut, cut, cut. Little Red Riding Hood/Grandpa:Thank you. Hunter: Grandpa ,give me some needles and thread。
Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones. Grandpa： （從桌紫拿來針線） Little Red Riding Hood：（搬來幾個石頭）One, two, three. Hunter： （把小石頭裝進Wolf的衣服里） Grandpa: I'll thread it. Hunter： （拿起槍）Woke up! Wolf：（起床，兩手托著大肚子）My stomach is so heavy. Hunter: You big bad wolf, raise your arms! Wolf：（邊跑邊說） Help! Don't shot me! Hunter： （開槍）Bang, bang! Wolf： （應聲倒下） Hunter: The bad wolf is 。
3.誰有簡短的,容易的英語相聲
一、Little Red Riding Hood 第一場：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum： （媽媽拿著一個籃子，把桌子上的水果放在籃子里） Little Red Riding Hood：（唱著歌，歡快地跑進來）Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum： （一邊把水果放在籃子里，心事重重地說）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma. Little Red Riding Hood：（邊提起籃子，邊點頭說）Ok! Mum： （親切地看著Little Red Riding Hood說） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood: Yes ,*e, mummy. Mum: Bye-bye. Darling. 第二場：在路上 （一陣輕快的音樂由遠而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎著籃子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁） Little Red Riding Hood: Wow!Flowers, how beautiful！ （放下籃子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers. Wolf:(wolf大步地走上臺)I am wolf. I am hungry. （做找東西狀，東張西望） Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going？ （做狡猾的樣子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼） Little Red Riding Hood：（手摸辮子，天真地回答）To Grandma'*a is ill. Wolf：（自言自語）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（對Little Red Riding Hood說）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks. Little Red Riding Hood：（和6只鴨子隨著音樂翩翩起舞） Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大樹后） Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks,how are you? Six Ducks:We' re * you. Where are you going? Little Red Riding Hood:To Grandma'*, I must go, bye. Six Ducks:Goodbye. 第三場：Grandma家 Grandma： （喘著氣出場，顫顫悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床邊，喘了幾口，打幾個哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（從樹后出來，邊走邊說）I am very hungry now. （做找尋的樣子）Where is Grandma' s house？ （高興地對觀眾說）Aha , it's here.（敲門）Bang, Bang, Bang. Grandma: Who is it? Wolf：（裝出Little Red Riding Hood的聲音，一邊得意地搖動尾巴，一邊說）It's me. Little Red Riding Hood. Grandma： （邊說邊起床） Come in, come in. Wolf：（得意洋洋地走到床邊） Grandma , I'll eat you. Grandma： （驚慌失措地抓緊衣服，瞪著眼睛，邊叫迫從床上滾到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。 Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翹起大拇指）Yummy!I'll sleep. Little Red Riding Hood：（高興地敲門）*a. Wolf：（裝扮成Grandma的聲音） Who is it? Little Red Riding Hood:It's me。
Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise! Wolf:Come in, Come in. Little Red Riding Hood：（蹦跳著進來，把籃子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回幾步）Oh! What are big ears! Wolf:I can listen to your sweet voice. Little Red Riding Hood:Wow! What a big eyes! Wolf:I can see you pretty face. Little Red Riding Hood:Oh! What a big hand. Wolf:I can hug you. Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，邊摸邊說）Look! What a big hands? Wolf：（從床上跳起來說）I can eat you! Little Red Riding Hood：（拼命地跑）Oh!No! No! Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃狀，拍拍肚子說）It's delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping. Hunter： （一邊拿著槍，一邊做尋找狀出場）Where's the wolf? Look! A door.（推門）The wolf is sleeping. Wolf：（發出呼呼的響聲） Hunter： （端起槍想打，又放下）What a big stomach！ （摸摸Wolf的肚子）Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry.（從桌子上拿起剪刀，舉起） Look! Scissors. （做剪Wolf的肚子）Cut, cut, cut. Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma:Thank you. Hunter: Grandma ,give me some needles and thread. Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones. Grandma： （從桌子上拿來針線） Little Red Riding Hood：（搬來幾個石頭）One, two, three. Hunter： （把小石頭裝進Wolf的衣服里） Grandma: I'll thread it. Hunter： （拿起槍）Woke up! Wolf：（起床，兩手托著大肚子）My stomach is so heavy. Hunter: You big bad wolf, raise your arms! Wolf：（邊跑邊說） Help! Don't shot me! Hunter： （開槍）Bang, bang! Wolf： （應聲倒下） Hunter: The bad wolf is dead. Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma:Yeah! Thank you. 二、T---Tiger F---Fox R---Rabbit B---Bird Fr---Frog B----Bear （ 狐假虎威） Tiger: I'm a great tiger. I'm very strong. I'm very brave. I'm the king of the * now I'm very hungry. I must find sth. to eat at once, or I'll die immediately. Oh, there's nothing here. And here is nothing, either. Oh, I want to have a rest. (Sleep soundly) Fox: I'm a fox. You can see, I'm pretty and lovely. I'm good at cheating 0and telling lies. Just now I cheated a crew out of a piece of meat. Mm, Mm, Mm. How delicious it is! Tiger: Ah, a fox. A good meal. Ah, a good meal. Fox: Oh, my God! What should I do? Yes, I have a good idea. Yes, a good idea. Hello! Tiger sister!。
4.2人英語小品劇本,初中的,約2
小王子[ Chapter 3 ]- the narrator learns more about from where the little prince * took me a long time to learn where he came from. The little prince who asked me so many questions never seemed to hear the ones I asked him. It was from words dropped by chance that little by *hing was revealed to * first time he saw my airplanefor instance (I shall not draw my airplane; that would be much too complicated for me)he asked me:[What is that object?][That is not an object. It flies. It is an airplane. It is my * I was proud to have him learn that I could fly.]He cried out:[What! You dropped down from the sky?][Yes.]I answered modestly.[Oh! That is funny!]And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter,which irritated me very much. I like my misfortunes to be taken * he added:[So you,too,come from the sky! Which is your planet?]At that moment I caught a gleam of light in the impenetrable mystery of his presence; and demanded abruptly:[Do you come from another planet?]But he did not reply. He tossed his head gently,without taking his eyes from my plane:[It is true that on that you can't have come from very far away。
]And he sank into a reverie which lasted a long time. Then taking my sheep out of his * buried himself in the contemplation of his * can imagine how my curiosity was aroused by this half-confidence about the "other planets." I made a great effort therefore to find out more on this subject.[My little man,where do you come from? What is this 'where I live' of which you speak? Where do you want to take your sheep?]After a reflective silence he answered:[The thing that is so good about the box you have given me is that at night he can use it as his house.][That is so. And if you are good I will give you a string,* that you can tie him during the day and a post to tie him to.]But the little prince seemed shocked by this offer:[Tie him! What a queer idea!][But if you don't tie him],I said,[he will wander off somewhereand get lost.]My friend broke into another peal of laughter:[But where do you think he would go?][anywhere. Straight ahead of him.]Then the little prince said earnestly:[That doesn't matter. Where I live everything is so small!]And with perhaps a hint of sadness,he added:[Straight ahead of himnobody can go very far。]。
5.【求一篇2人的英語相聲劇本要適合女生的相聲】
Once there lived a kind and lovely girl. After her father's death, her stepmother became cruel to * two step-sisters teased her, asking her to do all the housework. 從前有一位可愛善良的姑娘，她父親很早就去世了.她的繼母經常虐待她，繼母帶來的兩個孩子也經常欺負她，她們把灰姑娘當女擁一樣使喚. stepmother: Do the laundry and get on with your duties. Clean the floors right away. And what's more,bring me my breakfast. 把這些衣服拿到洗衣房做你的事情.把地板趕快給我擦干凈.另外，把我的早飯帶來. stepsister1: Cinderella! Get me my sweater, I feel a little cold. 灰姑娘，把我的衣服拿來，我感到有點冷. stepsister2: Hurry up! Prepare the carriage for me, hand me my gloves. I'm to be late for my date. You're so, you're always so sluggish. 快點！把馬車給我準備好，遞我手套.我約會要晚了，你總是那么慢慢騰騰的. Cruel as her stepmother was to her, Cinderella still lived an optimistic life. She had a lot of animal friends. 雖然繼母這樣對她，可灰姑娘還是樂觀地活著，另外她還有許多小動物做她的朋友. One day, the king held a party for the prince to choose the girl he loved. Every maid in the town was invited to the party. 一天，國王要讓王子自己選擇心愛的人，為王子舉辦了一個宮廷舞會，邀請城里所有的姑娘參加. The stepmother took her two daughters to the party, leaving Cinderella at home, because she was jealous of Cinderella's beauty. 可繼母嫉妒灰姑娘的美貌，讓灰姑娘在家干活，獨自帶著女兒去了. Cinderella was broken-hearted. At that time, her fairy godmother appeared. 灰姑娘非常地傷心，這時，教母出現了. Cinderella: There's nothing left to believe in. Nothing！ 沒有什么我相信的事情，什么也沒有！ Godmother: Nothing, my dear? Oh, now you don't really mean that. 親愛的，什么也沒有嗎？但現在你的意思并不是這樣. Cinderella: Oh, but I do. 噢，但我確實是這樣想的. Godmother: Nonsense, child! If you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here. And here I am!Oh, come now, Dry those tears！ 胡說，孩子.如果你失去了你的信仰，我就不會在這里了.但現在我在這，噢，過來，擦干眼淚. Cinderella: Why then, you must be。
為什么你一定在. Godmother: Your fairy godmother? Of course. Now let's see, hmm。now。
the magic *i-boddidi-boo. Put them together and what have you got. 你傳說中的教母？當然，現在讓我看看.現在，這些魔力的話，Bibbidi-boddidi-boo. 把它們放在一起，看你得到了什么. Cinderella: Oh, it's beautiful! It's like a dream, a wonderful dream come true. 噢，它太美麗了！象一個夢，一個美好的夢想變成了現實. Godmother: Yes, my child, but like all dreams, well, I'm afraid this can't last forever. You'll have only till night and。 是的，我的孩子，象所有的夢一樣.恐怕它不能永遠延續下去.你僅僅能在午夜和.擁有它. Cinderella: Midnight?Oh, thank you. 午夜？噢，謝謝你. Godmother: Oh, just a minute. Remember, on the stroke of twelve, the spell will be broken and everything will be as it was before. 噢，等一會兒.記住，當時鐘敲響到12點的時候，鐘將會打破，一切事情又恢復了從前. Cinderella: Oh, I understand, but。
it's more than I ever hoped for. 哦，我懂了.但它比我期望的要多地多. Godmother: Bless you, my child. Enjoy yourself. 祝福你，我的孩子，玩得開心. At the party, Cinderella danced with the prince all the * passed quickly. All of a sudden, Cinderella caught sight of the clock on the wall. Oh, it is almost twelve o'clock-five to twelve！ 舞會上，灰姑娘成了王子唯一選中的舞伴，灰姑娘與王子高興地跳舞，旁人都很羨慕地看著他們，議論他們.時間在美妙的歌舞中過去，墻上的大鐘突然映入灰姑娘的眼里，差5分鐘12點. Cinderella: Oh, my goodness！ 噢，天啊！ Prince: What's the matter？ 什么事？ Cinderella: It's midnight. It's almost midnight. 午夜了，快到午夜了. Prince: Yes, so it * why？ 是的，但又怎樣呢？ Cinderella: Goodbye. 再見. Prince: No, no,wait, you can't go now. 不，等等，你現在不能走. Cinderella: Oh, I must, please, I must. 噢，我必須走. Prince: But why？ 但為什么呢？ Cinderella: goodbye. 再見. Prince: No, wait, come back. Please come back! I don't even know your name. How will I find you? Wait, please wait! Wait！ 不，等等，回來，請回來！我連你的名字都不知道呢.我怎么能找到你呢？等等，等等，等等！ Cinderella: Goodbye. 再見. The next day, every maid in the town was ordered to try the glass *r the shoes fitted well would be the bride of the * one could put on the shoe, nor could the two step-sisters. When the officials were going to leave, Cinderella appeared and asked to have a try. 第二天，國王命令城中每一位女孩必須史穿玻璃鞋，穿上鞋子最合適的姑娘將成為王子的新娘.但城中沒有一個女孩能穿著合適.最后來到灰姑娘的家中，繼母的女。
6.初中英語小品 簡單,搞笑,含有大量中文,五分鐘左右
The Mean Man's Party 吝嗇鬼的聚會 The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"2：老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time is money.并讓同學們翻譯。
有名學生答道：“湯姆是瑪麗。” 小明上英文課時跟老師說：May I go to the toilet？ 老師說：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下來。
過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet？ 老師說：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？ 小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個頭」啊！3:hey,that lady, i like you ,will you be my girlfiend? -oh,sorry ,i think you have to make your face changed first, you are too handsome to be looked at. everybody was dancing while a blonde alone in an armchair. just then, she was happy to see a handsome young man coming towards her. "are you going to dancing ?"asked the man pleassntly. "yes,"she whispered. 4:how are you ？怎么是你？ how old are you ？怎么老是你？ 考試瘋云（校園小品） 人物：小艾，小伍，小玲，老師 場景：教室 內容： 小玲趴在桌上睡覺。
小艾丟了本書在旁邊，出去。 小伍進來，坐在小艾的位置上。
小艾（進來）：唉，哥們兒，真是莫名其妙，是不是在搞笑，難道你沒看到，這個座我已經占了！ 小伍：丁是丁，卯是卯，其實我占的比你早！ 小艾：我一大早就來了，咋沒看見你呢？ 小伍：我昨天晚上占的。 小艾：最后一排是我的專利！為了它，我每天早早地起了床，搶破了頭，血直流，這個位置不能丟！ 小伍：最后一排是我的驕傲，風水寶地這邊獨好。
要想把我從這趕跑（小艾：——咋地？）勸你趁早拉倒！ 小玲醒來：吵什么吵什么吵？ 一大早就在這么神圣的教室里吵架，浪費大好青春！ 知道你們犯了什么錯誤嗎？啊？ 小艾：知道。 小伍：我們不吵了。
小玲：你們最不可原諒的是——把我吵醒了！ 小艾坐在小玲前面。 小艾：最后一聲得，還是發揚風格。
哥們，考試照著我點！ 小伍：啊？今天考試啊？ 小玲：可不？我今天手都麻了！ 小艾：嚇的噢？ 小伍：睡覺睡的吧？ 小玲：都不對！打小草累的！ 小艾：哎，想我昨晚點燈熬油地折騰了大半夜呀！ 小伍：哎呀，發奮學習了？ 小玲：你也打小草？ 小艾：哪呀，我在想考試的策略！ 小伍、小玲湊過去：想到什么？ 小艾狂笑：告訴你們，這招絕了！ 小伍、小玲：快說啊！ 小艾：照書抄——（拿起書） 小玲：去死！ 小伍：是個好主意！我咋沒想到呢？ 小玲：得了吧。你這也叫絕招？ 哎，為了緩解一下緊張的氣氛，我給你們出道幽默智力題兒。
小艾、小伍不理她。 小玲：說，考試答卷分幾步？ 小艾、小伍湊過去：幾步？ 小玲：分三步！ 第一步：把名字寫上。
（兩人點頭） 第二步：把題目看一遍！（兩人點頭） 第三步：——把卷紙交上去！ 小艾：交白卷哦！ 小伍：什么破題啊？ 小玲：我再給你們出一道題兒；說，今天考試了，誰沒來？ 小艾：今天考試誰能不來？小玲？ 小玲：我不在呢么！ 小艾：看看四周，小伍？ 小伍：在呢！ 小艾：啊！我知道了——小艾！ 小伍：你是白來了！來了跟沒來還不一個結果！ 小玲：答，老師唄！還沒來呢！ 老師走進來。 三人嚇一跳：來啦？怎么說不來就來了呢？哎呀！（吵鬧） 老師：叫什么？癩蛤蟆進來了哦？ 三人笑。
老師：嚴肅點！這考試呢！一點職業道德都沒有！這年頭最重要的是什么？——分數！分分分，你們的命根！（邪笑）考考考，俺們的法寶！ 小艾：抄抄抄，咱們的絕招！ 老師：快發卷紙！考試了也不早點來，這都幾點了！考試都開始了半小時才來！干什么去了啊？ 發卷。 老師：考試時間共兩小時！不超過一小時不許交卷！想答卷的同學請拿起筆，不想答卷的同學請原地休息。
想上廁所的同學——請約束好自己！ 小艾：我把老師好有一比， 他是耗子找貓當三陪——要求無理！ 小玲：就是！難道他是傳說中的說唱歌手，要不嘴里怎么就叨咕叨咕的沒完？ 老師：肅靜！你們要比樹還靜！知不知道你們犯了多么嚴重的錯誤？比鹽海重！ 三人開抄。 老師：（指小艾）這位同學請不要抄了！ 小伍、小玲：我沒抄啊！ 老師走到了小艾面前：同學，別抄了！ 小艾：你怎么知道？我放在桌子里抄的！ 老師：你桌子前面的板掉了，我都看見了！ 小艾：（看了看）哎呀！真倒霉！ 老師沒收小艾的卷紙，小艾剛想站起來走。
老師：坐下！不到一小時不許出去！ 老師走到小伍旁邊，小伍把卷紙拿到桌里去抄。 老師：行了行了，別裝了！ 最看不起你們這些拿書作弊的，一點技術含量都沒有。
你剛才怎么抄來的？這樣？這樣？ 小伍：再低點再低點！ 老師：（沒收了小伍的卷紙）你也坐著反省一下，為什么拿書作弊？ 小伍：也不想拿書啊！誰讓我沒像她（小玲）一樣打好小草的！ 小玲瞪大眼睛看著小伍。 老師：這就對了，下回記得打小草！我就喜歡這種。
7.求一份初一英語相聲稿（短一點的）3人左右
A Conversation about Hobbies Michael and John are on their way to the tennis court. They meet Charles and David Danny. Michael: hi, Charlie and Dave and Danny, how is everything? Charles: * you. How about you? It seems like you two are going to play tennis? John: * are gong to play tennis. Would you like to join us? We can play doubles. David: No. Thanks. We have a football game this afternoon. But the goalie is not feeling well. Do you know anybody who could be a goalie for our team? Just for today. Michael: I am afraid not. Danny: Please, could you help us find one? Charles, What's so good about playing tennis? Why can't you guys cancel playing tennis today and come to join * will be the goalie and one will cheer for us. Michael: You know what? I took tennis classes recently and I find myself so crazy about it. I feel so energetic after playing tennis. Charles: I don't play tennis. I just play football. Tennis is not as exciting as football. Danny: I agree with what Charles said. Michael: Charlie, I am afraid I can't agree with you at this point. John : me neither. Michael:It is much easier to find one tennis partner than to find a whole team of people to play football. David:That's true. Charlie: But, don't you think more people are more exciting? Playing tennis is like playing a ping pong game. You merely play back and forth. It's a kind of boring. Danny: right, it is so boring. Michael and John: Noooooooo! Michael: When you play tennis, you can keep fit and you don't get hurt. John: There is too much body contact in playing football. I don't want to be pushed, be stepped, be knocked down or…… Charles: that's the best part of the game. Danny: exactly! David: well, we all learn to play smart. Michael: Sorry. We can't talk to you now. We have to go to our tennis club now. I can't wait to play with John. Charles: ok. I have to call my buddies to see who would like to be our goalie today. Michael and John: Good luck! Bye! Charles and David and Danny: Bye! Have a good day! Michael John: you, too。
8.急求~~~英語版兩人相聲（帶有中文翻譯的）,5分鐘左右盡量簡單 愛
Little Red Riding Hood 第一場：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum： （媽媽拿著一個籃子，把桌子上的水果放在籃子里） Little Red Riding Hood：（唱著歌，歡快地跑進來）Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum： （一邊把水果放在籃子里，心事重重地說）Grandma is ill。
Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma。 Take them to Grandma。
Little Red Riding Hood：（邊提起籃子，邊點頭說）Ok! Mum： （親切地看著Little Red Riding Hood說） Be good。 Be careful。
Little Red Riding Hood: Yes ,mummy。Goodbye, mummy。
Mum: Bye-bye。 Darling。
第二場：在路上 （一陣輕快的音樂由遠而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎著籃子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁） Little Red Riding Hood: Wow!Flowers, how beautiful！ （放下籃子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers。 Wolf:(wolf大步地走上臺)I am wolf。
I am hungry。 （做找東西狀，東張西望） Here is a little red riding hood。
Hi! Little Red Riding Hood。 Where are you going？ （做狡猾的樣子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼） Little Red Riding Hood：（手摸辮子，天真地回答）To Grandma's。
Grandma is ill。 Wolf：（自言自語）I' ll eat Grandma。
But……（對Little Red Riding Hood說）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks。 Little Red Riding Hood：（和6只鴨子隨著音樂翩翩起舞） Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大樹后） Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks,how are you? Six Ducks:We' re fine。
Thank you。 Where are you going? Little Red Riding Hood:To Grandma's。
Oh, I must go, bye。 Six Ducks:Goodbye。
第三場：Grandma家 Grandma： （喘著氣出場，顫顫悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床邊，喘了幾口，打幾個哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。） Wolf：（從樹后出來，邊走邊說）I am very hungry now。
（做找尋的樣子）Where is Grandma' s house？ （高興地對觀眾說）Aha , it's here。（敲門）Bang, Bang, Bang。
Grandma: Who is it? Wolf：（裝出Little Red Riding Hood的聲音，一邊得意地搖動尾巴，一邊說）It's me。 Little Red Riding Hood。
Grandma： （邊說邊起床） Come in, come in。 Wolf：（得意洋洋地走到床邊） Grandma , I'll eat you。
Grandma： （驚慌失措地抓緊衣服，瞪著眼睛，邊叫迫從床上滾到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。 Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翹起大拇指）Yummy!I'll sleep。
Little Red Riding Hood：（高興地敲門）Grandma。Grandma。
Wolf：（裝扮成Grandma的聲音） Who is it? Little Red Riding Hood:It's me。 Little Red Riding Hood。
What a strange noise! Wolf:Come in, Come in。 Little Red Riding Hood：（蹦跳著進來，把籃子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回幾步）Oh! What are big ears! Wolf:I can listen to your sweet voice。
Little Red Riding Hood:Wow! What a big eyes! Wolf:I can see you pretty face。 Little Red Riding Hood:Oh! What a big hand。
Wolf:I can hug you。 Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，邊摸邊說）Look! What a big hands? Wolf：（從床上跳起來說）I can eat you! Little Red Riding Hood：（拼命地跑）Oh!No! No! Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃狀，拍拍肚子說）It's delicious。
I still sleep。 I like sleeping。
Hunter： （一邊拿著槍，一邊做尋找狀出場）Where's the wolf? Look! A door。（推門）The wolf is sleeping。
Wolf：（發出呼呼的響聲） Hunter： （端起槍想打，又放下）What a big stomach！ （摸摸Wolf的肚子）Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside 。 I must be hurry。
（從桌子上拿起剪刀，舉起） Look! Scissors。 （做剪Wolf的肚子）Cut, cut, cut。
Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma:Thank you。 Hunter: Grandma ,give me some needles and thread。
Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones。 Grandma： （從桌子上拿來針線） Little Red Riding Hood：（搬來幾個石頭）One, two, three。
Hunter： （把小石頭裝進Wolf的衣服里） Grandma: I'll thread it。 Hunter： （拿起槍）Woke up! Wolf：（起床，兩手托著大肚子）My stomach is so heavy。
Hunter: You big bad wolf, raise your arms! Wolf：（邊跑邊說） Help! Don't shot me! Hunter： （開槍）Bang, bang! Wolf： （應聲倒下） Hunter: The bad wolf is dead。 Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma:Yeah! Thank you。
小紅帽 小紅帽家 媽媽： （媽媽拿著一個籃子，把桌子上的水果放在籃子里） 小紅帽：嗨，：（唱著歌，歡快地跑進來）媽媽，你在做什么呢？ 媽媽：奶奶病了。 這里有一些蘋果和香蕉給奶奶的。
帶他們去奶奶。 小紅帽：好啊！ 媽媽：小紅帽騎Hood說）很好。
小心些而已。 小紅帽：是的，mummy。
Goodbye，媽媽。 媽媽：再見。
親愛的。 小紅帽， 小紅帽：哇！鮮花，多么美麗！兩朵花，一朵花，三朵花。
狼：我是一只狼。我餓了。
（這里是一個小紅帽。嗨！小紅帽。
你去哪兒？小紅帽 李。
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